Rose of past

Frozen one was my body when the nice breeze of dawn blew , it is summer, I found that very weird, frozen body in July!! Why not?! I got flu!!
During the day, I was not stuck in bed, no, it is only a flu, and I had so much homework, and so much to talk about with mama.
Mama bought me a new set of pencils ( I do love pencils ) , and while I was arranging them in my case, I caught sight of something very dear for me. My first copybook in school, how great I felt as finding it!!! I kept turning the pages, laughing at myself and my handwriting , haha, how funny it was!! (although I was able to write when I was almost five years old, but it is handwriting of a child:) ), my copybook is full of stickers , of Tom & Jerry which was my favorite cartoon at that time. and mom was the one who wrote my name on it (referring that the copybook belongs to me), soon, my tears fell down and I went to my mom, carrying all my copybooks of this year, and I let her write my name on them. And I asked daddy to buy me stickers which I like them to be of Tom and Jerry too. I don’t know, does my wish sound like I want to be back to my childhood, or does it mean that the young soul is still alive in myself…
Among the words (which were the simple phrases of the marks and letters of alphabet) I found the name ( Sura), "Sura??" I wondered, then I showed my mom it, she would remind me of who Sura can be, although they have been only nine years since that time, but I got enough to forget it, she said " Oh Soleil, don’t you remember? Sura? And Abbudi ?her brother? Uncle Emad!!) , I soon said " Oh yes, yes, I remembered".
Only mentioning of these people may remind me of the happiest times I spent in my life, how great I was with them!!
I still remember Abbudi and I building the simple house of cubes set, and Sura was keeping staring at us, calling my name singing the song that referring to it too, I was so happy with them, they were like my family and more. They have left Iraq for five years, I really miss them, before they left Iraq they had returned to Baghdad (They are Baghdadis ), and my visits to Baghdad became greater since they went there, I every time was visiting their house and now I can remember how much shy Abbudi turned when I wanted to shake his hand , haha, he felt that he is old enough for saying hi to me like a gentleman without shaking hands , not like a child. Sura's name must be written by me when I had thought of her that once, she was always there for me, and the picnics that we had together(which I miss too) are the best in the world.
Everything of those nice moments turned to be bygone, as a rose of past.
Then I put back my most wonderful copybook with my other favorite ones. It should be my number one diary , every simple mark of it says hello to my life, and so makes it so much better.
All the years ago, I had my own circle of people, people come and people go, but the all engrave the nice memory in my mind, people can never be forgotten.
Many of our friends have left Iraq after or before the last war, and many of them too came back, maybe many people think that they might be crazy to decide to come back to Iraq, but they did and they are doing well now.
Many families in Baghdad ( Baghdad. Baghdad..Baghdad, how much I Love this city!!) came back, and earlier my cousin called me, she said that the situation in Baghdad is so much better than Mosul, although there are many barricades, but it should be as a step by step. We all hope and pray for the better bext.
One day when I was about 5 years old , I did love a young singer called "Najwa Karam" , she had a song pretending like Cinderella in !! And I liked her since that time, I made my dad take me to all the shops in Mosul looking for a picture of her, hahaha, how stubborn I seemed sometimes!!! Then, I found the picture, hahah and kept it near my cupboard.
Whenever I see children in streets walking among the cars in the roads junctions selling cigarettes or biscuit I feel of grief inside, that I'm so sorry to see those children working while I and many others could have the chance to live as a child one day. I'm very grateful and thankful for this, but very sad too. I don’t know when will the day ,when I will see those children taking their way to school, come? Every night I pray for them, deep and hard life seems many times.

Myself and I was talking last night, what if what has someone I know said is right?
" whatever I do, whatever I get, I will die someday and nothing will be for me, so no need to get stressed of the life and no need to do the best for things will go away someday".
No , no , I'm sure it is wrong, because I soon realize that it is right that we are all going to die someday, but at least we are having the minute to live happily and able to feel that we are here.
Iraq had many horrible times that made some people think like that, many wars and everything has the share of making many people here ignorant and unable to think of the beauty of considering that the world is only about little village as together as we can live.
The wars made Iraq alone and weak one day, and this is why we need a lot now to do for rebuilding the our home. But the main thing is we don’t need any other war anymore, nor any quarrels with our neighbors or with each other.
I every time when think of the matter, my insistence that I will do all my best for my country and my homeland grows bigger and bigger.
We have to make great relations with all the other countries, this is exactly what we need, forgetting the sad past and focusing on what we faced for avoiding repeating the mistakes and for creating the enormous lives, so we will work only for the future, the future that we all hope to be brilliant.
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Lately, I felt sad for no main reason, like my heart was surrounded, I don’t know why, I got stressed too much, but I still remember my math teacher when she said at seeing me like this " Don't be sad while you are the only one who can leave the doors opened for all the positive things and closed for all the negative things. The life is so much greater than spending it like a weeping philosopher , haha".
I really love my teacher and I'm very proud of her, she helped me many times , and now I miss her, but I also have luck to have great friends to support me always , hold my hand to touch the sky and stand by me whenever I need them.
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Thankfully I'm doing well with my studying, and I'm very busy with it.
My teachers are nice and I'm happy with them.
Situation is bad actually, the bridges are blocked from time to time, and national guards are angry, American soldiers too, people here expect another military operation, because the last one wasn’t the perfect the Mosul need.
Within the last days, ten car-bombs exploded, and we are afraid of this in deed.
My friend told me that she say a killed man on her way to a copying shop, maybe these scenes turned very normal for the Iraqi people , but really sadly I say this.
Many American tanks are in the streets,and hovering warplanes. Today the tank was only about 4 meters away from me. Ok, seeing American tanks doesn't mean anything good, it means that these soldiers are chasing terrorists and so there are many terrorists.

The weather is very hot. And we get limited hours of power ( but I can't deny it is better than two months ago).
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"There were nights when the wind was so cold,that my body froze in bed,If I just listened to it right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel ,that all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever" I am singing, let the nights be full of pleasure that we can't live the night twice….

Soleil

I had a wonderful time

this is al AmadyyaLittle village on the surface of a mountain

On Friday , I went to school, I had an Arabic language lesson, there , I met a new girl, she is from Baghdad, and she has come lately, and didn’t know anything about the schedules, the lessons, the teachers and the useful booklets that the teachers prepare to help the students in their studying. So I made her meet the teachers and prepare her suitable schedule , buy he booklets. And then she kept thanking me and I gave her my cell phone number.
When I came back from school, I soon had a bath, and in about half an hour the driver came, and we headed to Duhok.
The weather was very hot, and the way to Duhok was funny, the driver is a poor simple young man, and daddy kept making jokes with him (as I told you, daddy loves to joke, hahaha). And he kept telling us stories about his childhood. He is very simple man. May God bless him and all the Iraqi simple poor men.
In about one hour, we arrived Duhok, and took our way to the motel where we had already booked a small flat.
This motel belongs to a group of buildings of Mazi Company ( there are two main motels, supermarket, supermarket of furniture, amusement city which is called Dreams City and big swimming pool), so we really had wonderful times.
Then, at about 12:30 a.m. , my brother ( the first young man ) came, and I really was surprised that he hasn’t been changed with looking, haha. I have not seen him for about almost two years. And my other brother B, was taking his way to Duhok from Erbil .
So, we waited for my brother B to come.
As a matter of fact, I was very tired, I didn’t sleep well in the night, and got up very early ( when I wrote my last post J), had a lesson and a long way. So I had a nap for about half an hour. Then my brother B came, and I was surprised that he has been changed!!! He has turned more cultured and open-minded, but I actually didn’t agree with most of their ideas. Anyway , they are my brothers and it is very nice that I disagree with them , so , we wont find boredom, hahaha.
Then, we went out in the afternoon, to the supermarket and Dreams city.
Actually, the city centre of Duhok is small, and one day is enough to see all the places there.
In the dreams city, I met many people, Arabians and Kurdish. And I really had an amazing time. I have missed visiting of an amusement city in Iraq. And the games were funny. UFO ( or the flying saucer ), the space gun, the horses, the train and many others. I cant deny that the amusement city is very good, but it needs to be improved more. To make it perfect.
My sisters and I kept playing , as well as my brothrs. Haha.
Once, my brothers took my sisters to play with the horses game (which I didn’t play with , I'm not a child :):) and I stayed with my mom and dad ,who kept talking about the difference between Kurdistan and Mosul, there is safety and comfort. It is like one hour separate between a world and one other greatly differs with the first. All our hopes that Mosul and all the Iraqi cities will be like Kurdistan with development and freedom. Suddenly I met a VERY BEAUTIFUL baby, she is Kurdish , and I really wanted to kiss her. She looks like me when I was a baby!!! She is no older than 7 months, and as I know some Kurdish words like ( Choni? = how are you) I said it to her, and her mom kept talking to me in Kurdish, OK I'm not good in Kurdish, so I told her ( nazanem kurdi = I don’t speak Kurdish) ok, I'm sure I did a mistake ,but she could understand me, haha. And it seemed that she is very good that she kept talking to me in Arabic. And asked me to learn Kurdish. Ok, I will do my best to learn anything the world wants me to learn, just when I graduate from high school, hahaha.
And she left her baby with me and went. She asked me to take care of her whose name was Jwan , and I kept kidding her till she began to laugh. Haha. I don’t know whether it will make use if I work as babysitter someday. Haha
Then we had dinner and went back to the flat in the midnight. We were very happy.and we kept making fun all the time.
I saw a group of bizarre boys, they had big tattoos on their arms!! I was afraid actually, they were tattoos of skulls. Waw, I soon left the place. :):):)
But what saddened me a bit, is that while we were playing, a young child came with tearful eyes to my brother asking him for some money to play by. My brother soon took him and bought him the wanted cards for playing..
The next morning, we hired a mini bus to take us to the summer residences. And the way to them was amazing, we had breakfast in the bus!! Ok, let me tell you that we didn’t et up early for breakfast, we woke up at 7:00 though!! And we kept listening to music ( mixture of English , Arabic. And Iraqi songs ). My brothers kept talking about their Kurdish friends and the Kurdish weddings they attended. Thank God everything was perfect with them.
Our steps were : Zawita, Sersang, Swilaf ( beautiful summer residences ), Amadyya ( very very beautiful village mainly situated on a mountain, and people there are Kurdish but are not like Kurdish of Duhok, they have their own customs ), Sulaf (other summer resort) ,Aishawa and Inishki ( where we visited a cave and they said that in that cave the first human lived, it was very cold inside, there is a small cafeteria too, we had tea (for my parents and brother and juice for my sisters and I), Sersang ( another summer resorts) , and then we took our way back passing by very beautiful places.
I saw a lake, small lake indeed ,and there were many buffaloes there, and I insisted on stopping there to take photos with the cattle , but my dad refused saying that the buffaloes are dangerous and no one can trust them, they might do any unexpected thing.
We passed very near to the mountain edge, and I really fear the high places, and my brothers kept encouraging me, Ok, let me tell you, I was able to look into the valleys this time. It was a very wonderful thing.But do you know what? Mom had visited the north many times in 80s and she said " ok, the north of today is not like the north of 80s, in the past it was more beautiful, the nature was more wonderful. Many trees have to be planted and many good cafeteria should be placed here. Mmm everything needs not more than two years to be perfect". Ok my mom cares so much about rebuilding, and this what she could say before thinking deeply.

Then, we went to Duhok Dam, it is beautiful and I saw many Maslawi families there. The all were having fun and great times.
My brothers met many of their childhood friends there. It was like a miracle!!
Then, we headed back to Duhok, we had lunch at Shandukha (the most famous restaurant in Dohuk) , there were American soldiers too, without guns!!! no one can deny that the American soldiers favor Kurdistan zone the most.
Then we went back to the flat to have a rest. And in the evening , we went to the zoo and then back to Dreams City, but my mom and I stayed at the calm yard, with the plants and trees. There we met more Kurdish families ( actually all our Kurdish friends are from Erbil not Duhok), and mom had wonderful time with the women. There was a wedding celebration( ok, we weren't the only ones who had a celebration , haha) .then , we didn’t want to go back to the flat, so we joined the sisters ,the brothers and papa. This time there were many Arabian families, from Baghdad, they came as tourist groups by buses. The all were talking about Baghdad proudly, and I was filled with hope to visit Baghdad soon ( I know I know after graduation ) haha. Ok, I have many plans to do after this year which I consider out of the expected joy during my lifetime, yes, because I have my studying that I have to focus on completely.

I kept overhearing the young men and women from Baghdad, haha. At least to hear Baghdadi talking. Haha.
I love Baghdadi talking like ( Shlonich= how are you *for the female*, Shlonek= how are you *for the male* Bacher= tomorrow, Sug= market, Kulshi mashi = everything is ok) and many others .haha

At 1:00 a.m. we came back to the motel. and I really felt of a great feeling, that the great things make everything wonderful, and make the eyes see nothing but the beauty and the tongue say nothing but the happy words.
Since early morning, at 7:30 a.m. we headed back to Mousl, because I had a lesson at 10:00a.m., the way was very horrible, very crowded and the weather was very hot. But the car conditioner worked very well actually, so we didn’t feel of that so much.

As soon as I came back home, I had a bath, and got ready for school. The driver came to take me ( Thank God, I have my own driver so he waits for me as much as I might be late, actually, I DISLIKE to be late, but that time I was compelled to be late).
I had a lesson of physics, and the teacher is very funny and smart. I like him very much.
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Yesterday, I went to school, had four lessons , chemistry (I had an exam and I got full mark, and guess what the teacher wrote on my piece of paper? " Excellent for you!!! Doctor Soleil inshallah", I was greatly happy , OH LORD!!! I really need your support always, and being doctor is the main goal for me, when I'll be able to enter the hospital and take care of the patients , the children especially, how great it will be if I can save someone's life !!!! how great!!!

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Do you know what friends? Most of the students with me know the teachers relatively and so have a great relation with them, but My parents are not from Mosul, but I could be the teachers' friends soon, it is so nice, that a Maslawi girl came to me to be in intercession place for her about something, I stood by her, and guess what? We found out that the teacher does know her father and uncles. Hahaha

Finally , what I can say>>
As the tree grows up, as the rose gives perfume , as the sky can be seen blue , we will be able to bring back all what we missed , and everything will be quite perfect , just because we are here.

Sandybelle

Note : my mom's friend knew of our visitng to Duhok, and insisted on us to go with her again soon, another trip to Kurdistan. With her children , it will be amazing.
And something else, the situation here is not that good, today we heard two explosions occurred near our neighborhood.

Day by day

A few days ago, I was stuck in the road back home for a bout two hours. The weather was hot and unbearable, I though there had been salt in the air!!! It was horrible, as soon as I came back home I had a bath, I didn’t want to leave the bathroom, I was afraid of that!! ( make fun of me :) really, we didn’t have electricity at that time, actually, the power is very miserable , and we in the night suffer of the hot weather, but we at home have our own generator ( most of the Iraqi families have three lines of electricity, national line, quarter generator line ( which is a generator, rather big, many families take share in paying money for the man who is in charge of switching it on and off , and the one ampere cost is 10 thousands ID= 8. 30 $, and the home generator line, and in Mosul, there was a decision announced by the governorate that all the generators switch on the generators at 1:00 p.m. till 6:00 a.m., with one hour for rest after each three hours of working ) .
Then I spent the day studying. Actually, studying is not that simple, not like how I thought, but no matter, it is the last year suffering and I have to DO ALL MY BEST at least to please my parents and to make them feel proud of me, my parents do their best to allow us free and pure living, to not need anyone else, and it is my duty and part of the charity that they give us without feeling of is to work hard to create the true smile on their faces.
For the record, I started all my lessons lectures, and my mom made me have private lessons with the teacher in all the subjects except religion.
I changed my physics teacher, not because she is not good, no, she is good and she likes me, but the girls who are with me are horrible dears, very selfish, I don’t know what could happen with them, just four months ago everything was ok!! but maybe it is the life, who gives lessons and calls people to keep in touch and help each other, hasn't given them the lesson yet. I'm not here to blame them, I know they will be sorry, and I don’t care about that, I have already forgiven them for every bad thing they did for me, because any case I cant forget any good moment we spent together, maybe they can, but NOT ME and I can never be changed. And I will stand by their side whenever they need me. My greatest friends taught me that, and I promised my friends and my family to be who I am always.
Anyway, when I told the other teacher physics, he was very happy that I will join his group. I attended the first lesson with him, he has very weird and lovely way to teach, very good teacher, and he kept making fun in the spare time.
Actually, I am very happy with my teachers, the all love me and understand me, and I love them too, especially the one of English language( I talk to him by English, so that my English will improve more and more) and do you know what he says? " I see you as a child , like you are still 7 years old, you are very innocent and the life doesn’t need such innocence , but you are great and wise, ok ok ,I'm saying nonsense, but you are nice " he says that, and to be honest, I didn’t understand what he meant perfectly well, haha.
And the teacher of chemistry is very very funny man, I am very comfortable with him ,actually he is the one who always helps me at school , and Arabic language teacher is very good man, he admires me very much especially when he knew that I write poems, he is very good man actually.
And I'm going to join a group of a good math teacher.
Ok, this is the first time I get lessons with men teachers, I feel of their fatherly spirit, they are very kind and lovely. May God bless our teachers, because they will stay stars in Iraq sky.
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Mom was in Baghdad , as well as my sisters, I stayed at home with my dad. I was his mom !!!! haha, I did all what he needed, cooking, arranging home, and joking ;)
Mom came back and bought very nice clothes for me , (she is really generous mammy haha), she went to many places .Karrada, Alzawra'a park, philisteen street , al kadhmyya, and many others.
But mom said that electricity and water service their is very bad. and one day, my uncle was walking in the street when an American tank passed by him, and suddenly stopped, three soldiers were completely armed got out of the tank, and kept asking my uncle about what is missed in the quarter of services. actually my uncle was amazed, it is rarely to see soldiers care about services, and they are not any soldiers , they are the American , who are well-known as violent that no one should be near to them, but my uncle kept explaining the matter for them, and they paid attention!!!.. anyway, I myself hope everything will be ok within a short time.
Mom and all her brothers and sisters headed to another city,but my sisters didn't like to go, so they stayed in Baghdad with the other children at my aunt's house with her daughters and sons( two beautiful young ladies and three young men) and the all had a great time there, I wasn’t able to go because of my study and caring of my dad!!!haha.
The way Baghdad- Mosul was good, they spent only 6 hours, and their were no criminals groups, and there were many cars actually with many families.

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My dad's friend , who is from Basra , said good-bye for his nephews (A and B) for ever. They are soldiers and they were taking their way to Mosul , which was decided to be their battlefield agains the terrorists, but they were murdered on the way, just because they wanted to come and to help people here to live peacefully, and to say Farewell!! For the misery of living under violence.
The both left two poor families behind them, A had two little girls and B had a baby boy. What was their crime??? What was the benefit behind their killing?
No one knows…
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Today, I'm taking my way to Duhok, to see very very special two young men, I miss them highly and I expect ( actually I'm sure) to have a great time with them. We will celebrate their graduation party, " the days pass very quickly, now , they are two men and they have the life to face depending on themselves " daddy says.

OK dears, I'm going to have breakfast now, haha. And I wish this updating was good.
I'll tell you about the trip next time.
So, till next time be safe

Sandybelle

My daddy loves me so.. I love him so

They call me with my name, which is related with his, and they say that it is a special one , and it refers to my inside, and actually he named me with my name after taking her opinion about it, so, the question is, Could he reach my inside since I was 1 moment old!!!

He could , yes. And this is why he can understand me, and see how I see things and support me to be who I am .

He calls me , and when he calls me, I feel of my wings, how great they are , as they try to take me to the other world. Where I am creating my dreams and put them in a great house. House of wonders . my wings keep taking me all around , and I feel so great to see my house trees , they are growing very rapidly, as my house is being rebuilt day after day.

When I sleep, I go to that house, and suddenly see him , standing beside my bed, with surprise, I say " Oh dad!! Why are you standing gazing at me!! Haha, good morning!!"

Then he would reply " I'm here to awake you, as usual, haha"

" but I was in my dreams world!! I love to go there always .dad!! my world, I have talked to you about, where I can see all the children happy. White and negroes , and people from different places, all together, sitting, doing, talking, around my house!! There , where no explosions, no misery and no sadness. The all are equal ,without differences, where I can see the moon listening to happy stories, overhearing the kids as they laugh ,feeling happy about the prince who married the princess and ruled a great kingdom full of unity and love, together, one hand. For united world for peace!! Haha, as my friend likes to name it" .I answer
" but I am here to awake you, to make you talk more and more about it, here to help you to live in that world, not only when you are asleep, but also when you are awake!!" he would reply.

" Oh, you are right!! I have a lot to do this day, day after day, I feel that what is waiting for me is so much better and greater than what I missed. I have a lot to do, and let me do , today again!" I would say, and then I would jump and hug him, he would kiss me and arrange my bed ( actually, for a while, I myself began to arrange my bed. Hahaha).

Then the day would start with hope and looking forward the best.

" what is important of what you see, is what you look forward to", whenever I hear this sentence from him, I feel I am new again, like the dove when makes a new nest .
He is like that, always. Although I love to fight him many times, guess how? I fight him by jokes!! Haha, every time , he wins, haha. I can never make others laugh like how he does, hahaha. But when I feel sad (as you know , I am the loser ,haha), he says ' haha, you can never win!!! Do you fight me? Me? With my experience with jokes? Haha" I would gaze at him . but he adds
" Ok, let me tell you something, you make others feel happy inside, with smile or without .hahaha , I love you to be who you are. Always. May you promise me to be who you are!! Even though you lose with jokes"
And when I talk to him about subjects I disagree with him about, he says " ok, I am here , listening , let you say, haha", he listens
And when I find myself alone or sad deeply, I directly go to him, stand in front of him, and begin to look at him with wondering looks, he soon reads my eyes and says " ok, what's there? Dear!! "I soon feel shy, and embarrassed, how can I feel sad while I have such daddy!! Mammy and sisters and brothers!! And when I could find the friends, he said " ok, maybe you won't need me anymore, will you?"
" What????????!!!!!! No, I will never find daddy except you, baba!! I love you, and no one can replace you!! " , then he would laugh.
Daddy taught me how to be good , free and kind with the paupers and poor people. And orphans . daddy lost his father when he was 13 years old, and I always feel sad about him, and sad about all the orphans . guess what he says " dear, let me take a promise. As you feel sad about me, although I myself am father right now! That you will treat all the orphans greatly and kindly, and as usual, to be whom you are. "
Daddy is very successful man with his work . he loves his work. And daddy supports me to be whom I like to be, so I will do great job with it, because I love what I work.
Daddy is handsome, and very tender-hearted , very very . daddy loves all the people. And even the evil ones!! He says " evil ones are like good ones, and whenever they find the space for them to build the bridge of peace and kindness inside them, they will turn great ones. And the good ones do never hate, do never!! Because we are here to share and live!"
Daddy, you are right!!and I love you. But do you know what? Daddy always says " you are better than me, and your spirit is more beautiful than mine! You carry your mom's very great features!" and this is painful for me, because I can never be better than him, everyone is special , and the world is so much more beautiful that we are all here…
I love you dad!!
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I, two days ago, went to the school , for the private lessons, and met the wonderful teachers, the one of French language is very cute one, he took me to the schoolmaster to prepare for the groups, and I talked to him about French and France ( he has gone there), I felt I knew him than before, we kept talking like we know each other for a long time!! even though it is the first meeting. J
Wish me luck, please!!
Situation is the same one week ago , but we are still careful , it is not fit yet. But all our hopes is that it will improve ,and turn better and better. but unfortunately, my mom's friend lost her husband ( who is a professor at the college) in a terrorist attack. Criminals surrounded his car and shot his two sons, and they are both at the hospital , and one of them is in very dangerous case.
I was sooooo sad for them, she is very good mam, and she doesn’t deserve what she faced. And for the long years, she gave a lot, and lost a lot, many sacrifices to bring up her children well and to make them achieve their dreams. And her husband was a great peaceful man. May his soul rest in peace!!

I was ill for a while (hypoglycemia and anemia ), and couldn’t study , but today
I did my missed lessons. And did an exam at home!! The teacher gave me an envelope which the questions piece of paper was inside in and I did well!! It is the first exam I do at home !! my sisters kept making funs, hahaha.
I dont know, I am always ill!!!! LoL, i should take care of myself and eat well. :) :)


Take care of yourselves and stay safe,
Sandybelle

One mile way begins with one step

Slowly, while I was gathering my stationery things at my teacher's house, I found out that she had put a piece of dessert and a glass of orange juice , she said " let you have them on your way to the school dear ", I actually was surprised ,but so happy at the same time. I asked her not to irk herself , but she said " irk? Hahaha, do you know what? Among all the best students that I have met you are the special one, your spirit is wonderful dear, like the flying butterfly in the middle of the hell , flying trying to spread her wings to reach the flower , but why butterfly? What about the sun? rays … you are the sun in the middle of the dark sky ". I thanked her and took my way school.in fact, i did my best to leave her house quickly , i was embarrassed.. i dont like praising, but they say they dont praise me and it is the truth.. this is so hard for me, i should work more to keep my reputation..


I have started my physics lessons about a week ago, as well as chemistry ones. As I told you friends, it is important to prepare for the sixth grade by studying the text books during the summer holiday , to learn more, and then to get high marks, so our future careers will be defined successfully.
Many of my people ask me about the career that I like to be working, of course , at the top of the list there is Medicine studying, I love to be a doctor , for me, this job carries all the meanings of kindness, and caring and …, and sacrifices. So , the great man is who does the great for the others. and I love to be a teacher or a lawyer. I'll do my best all the times. But being the doctor is the main aim.
Our text books are religion ( two books, The holy Koran, and Islamic teachings in the prophet's wills) , Arabic language ( two books, grammar and literary book which include the poems of the most famous poets of the modern decades ), English language ( two books, literary novel, and grammar book), French language , mathematics, physics, chemistry, biology and that is all.
And I myself will study all the subjects in the summer holiday, but the subject that I'm going to study with teachers are ( physics, chemistry, mathematics and French language), the main desire of studying with teachers is that the school teachers don’t finish all the subjects during the school time because it is long as they pretend to say. I don’t know, I think there is a negligence by them, so we need to have teachers ( private lessons ) paying money in return, but you know what? My heart is breaking to see that some students can't have teachers for their being poor, or some others' pay all their best and give all the sacrifices to make their children equal to the others.
Anyway, I don’t care about having the summer classes ( I didn't want at first, but those were my parents who insisted on me to have them) , because the only thing that I'm sure of is that God doesn't forget his serfs, I will do my best and work hard and I will help the poor ones that I know and tell them about all the ways that the teachers teach us to make the right answers of the questions.
My physics teacher is very lovely motherly woman, she likes me so much and likes my name. chemistry teacher is very bizarre man, he makes jokes by very weird way, I didn’t like it first and I told him, because he hurt me by one them, he apologized very politely( although he is older than my dad!!) and I gradually began to get used to his ways. He is funny man. Anyway, May God bless our ways ( you and I and all the others ) and make us able to DO.
One of the news that pissed me off is that there is new directions reached the branch of the ministry education in Mosul saying that the students are allowed to do the exam of the smart students once all their study years. I didn’t believe that at first, and asked my uncle to go to the main ministry in Baghdad to make sure of the news. He went there and said that the news are true. So , actually I got shocked and felt sad for a while. But anyway, what is written in the stars can't be changed.
But something has to be said, that the education system in Iraq can be considered the best in the Middle East, but it needs to be improved. I think it should be like the one of Japan , USA, UK or so. it is not a hard request, because the Iraqis have mind, thoughts and hands. and to make them work together is the best way to live peacefully. one of these good ways is to work to improve the education.
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My friend Ran called me, and I hard could hide my tears ( actually I didn’t hide them), she is doing well, thankfully, she asked me to visit her in her city, I said "Yes" I really miss her and miss the nice moments that we spent together, walking in the school yard, playing the game of friendship ( as I like to name it ) , how understandable for each other we were, how BEAUTIFUL we were!!! I hope she will come back, when she will come back , I will be realizing that the dark days turned part of the past. ( But God is here always, and he compensated me with GREAT OTHER ONES, GIFTS FROM GOD. But Ran and the great mments with her are here alive in my heart ).
An other friend of mine Basma, called me, she is in the sixth grade, she feels so scared and worried about the exams, she asked me maybe 1000 times to pray for her, hahahaha, she is wonderful girl friends, she likes me too much and asks about me, and when I gave her my cell phone number I became daily receive SMSs from her, very cute local poems. I kept telling her some teachings how to spend exams times, she kept thanking me, I felt so happy to hear from her. Actually I will pray for her and all the others , including Zuzu. Zuzu has left to a little town near Mosul, because when they started to rebuild their house, a group of terrorists put mines at the gate of the house saying " from where did you get money to rebuild again? You should give them to us " !!!!!!!, I am sick of them, the bad guys, and pray for that day when we'll get rid of them forever.
I myself called Maf, she is doing well, her grandma is staying with them, actually the quarter where they live is very dangerous. Her sisters are doing well, actually , she felt very happy to hear my voice as she said. I' m ready t d anything for her. Do you know what? I don’t know , but I feel that my mom as her usual has done something, but she always refuses to tell me. Mmmm. Wise , stubborn mammy. Mmm.
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My French teacher called me, asking me how I'm doing, as well as my Arabic language teacher, I was so shy to talk to them, anyway, they don't consider me as a student, I don't know, they just care about me so much.
And for the record, I have visited my art teacher, she lives in our neighbor, and she was so excited to see me and my mom standing at their house gate. She welcomed us warmly , and she began to praise me in front of my mom, so I soon took her permission and thanked her and told her that I had some work to do, so I left. I noticed that she kept smiling, so I think that she have remembered that I feel soooooo shy of praising. hahaha. Actually, I really had a lot of work to do, and I was able to postpone it, but it was a good pretext for me to leave that place, i would be burnt of shyness. although one of my best friends has realized that I'm BRAVE!!.
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A great friend and I prepared for another friend's birthday, I don't know how the friend really felt, maybe surprised , maybe completely happy, but the only thing that I had to say
" Just two little words…..So pleasant to say
Especially for you…. On your special day
Bringing the best wish…. Anyone ever knew
And one that's wished over…. And over for you "

And I am here saying THANK YOU to God becaue he led my way , and is leading every now and then.
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A few days ago, my dad came back from the college, he seemed so sad, he said that a dear friend of his own , the dean's assistant of the agriculture college was murdered by a mine was put under his car.
Dad lost a friend again, I can't understand, how could they put the mine inside the campus?!!!!!!! Inside the campus?!!!! What does that mean? What about the policemen who guarded the campus? Where were they? Mmmm it needs thinking but..
Dad met his friend's sons who burst in tears at seeing him. Dad could hard not to cry ( he is a man) .The situation is getting better, but some sad events is still happening from time to time, but it is less than before. So , may these days be the last ones.

And my mom's workmate, another Prof. at the university visited us , and said that she a few days before the operation has seen the terrorists slaying a man in front of her eyes !!!! she kept crying for a long time ( He was one of the best men that she knew, but he was murdered because he was from another sect, I don't know how sometimes some people think? they killed him, and now what? they only caused hurt and pain for his family for life , and right now, they only have the nice memories of him to think about) and my mom and I kept calming her down, actually it is too hard to see someone at that condition and no one can do anything, armed criminals everywhere, threatening the poor families. I can't deny that such scenes are too much less than before, but I can't deny also that the situation is not completely good, no, not at all. It needs to improve , and this needs all of us to work hard together. Not only the national guards or the policemen, but also all the citizens .. Let's pray for the happy end.
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Two days ago, I took my way to a special place.
My mom's friend gave birth to a little female baby, they have not chosen the name yet, she wants to name her with my name, and the dad wants to name her with other one. Haha
The wonderful thing, is that the she gave the birth in a hospital, and it is the same where I was born!!!!
When I arrived, my dad quickly took me to the room where I took breath for the first time, I felt of a strange feeling, like I was born at that present moment, how was I !!! I don't know, I have seen myself only by photos, how nice feeling is when the one thinks that he/she is still a bay , yes, I'm a baby, and will remain baby with all my words and emotions.
But, I later asked my dad " dad? Was the room as dirty as it seems now?" , dad said " NO!, the room was different, actually, every place in the hospital was different, many bad things took place. Mmm, and the doctor who was the supervisor of your birth has left Iraq. Mmmm, the hospital needs to be rebuilt, like any other place in Iraq. As well as many selves need to be changed. ". I gave a smile, and hoped that everything will be changed towards the best soon.. soon. And it will , sooner or later. I believe so.

For these long years, I have realized that the world is always changing and nothing stays the same, but the high great meanings remain the same, the meanings that goodness depends on in seeking for the secret beauty. Goodness and loyalty are the great meanings that anyone needs to live with. Living with peace and safety.
For the record, hospitals in Iraq, of the different cities , need to be rebuilt again. as I mentioned in some of my last posts.
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In my spare time, I was reading the book of Ali Alwardi ( one of the Iraqi stars in the world sky in psyche science) called " The nature of the Iraqi society" and as I finished reading it, a completed view of my people was formed for me. and in a word what I can say is , Iraqi society has many kinds of people, religions, sects, races and so , and
the best way to rule such country is Democracy and freedom.
" We have made you as different people and tribes to come to know. The best one fr God is the best in piety" >> The Holy Koran.
And piety here refers to doing the best for the others.
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Yesterday, in the evening, I watched a show with the Iraqi famous singer " Housein Ni'ma", he is one of my best ones, I like all his songs.

And Yesterday , It was dawn time when I woke up, as I was staring at the sun while it was rising, I kept doing prayers, I really needed it, and this time I have felt of a strange feeling, like I have been born at the moment, so If I felt like that, why have I born from an earlier time? !
I then took my breakfast, and kept listening to the Iraqi songs of Fo'ad Salim, he is one of my favorite ones. Many of my friends get surprised to know that I listen to the Iraqi old songs. And the song that I heard this morning is " hachyak mutar sef.. ridtak tumur dhef witsakket il yehchun " and in English it means, " your talking is like summer rain. I wanted you to pass as a guest and make all the speakers shut up " , it is kinda song of blaming .
I do like the Iraqi songs.

And I do like my life ,whatever the things that we ( I) face are hard, but we were born to live, and I AM ALIVE.

May God bless Iraq , Iraqis and all the innocent people in the world.
Sandybelle

They have their Iraq and I have mine

The kind date-palm.

The beautiful Baghdad.

Al-Sareefa, a local little house made by reeds, can be usually found to the south of Iraq.

Zakho, inthe north.

Al-Malwiyya, in Samarra, to the north of Iraq.

Tigris, during the time of the sunset.

Tikrit governorate

Baghdad.

They have their Iraq, and I have the one mine.

Their Iraq is about a problem that they fight each other for, and my Iraq is about the greatest solution that we can be brought all together by , and can all swim in his rivers.

They have their Iraq... and I have mine

Their Iraq is about a government has many leaders, and my Iraq is about a great mountain that leads to the way beyond the sun.

They have their Iraq ... But I have mine.

Their Iraq is about a land of battle, and my Iraq is about a land of treasures, date-palms and rivers.

They have their Iraq and I have mine.

Their Iraq have people, people here only ready to take and usually forget to give. and I have my Iraq and his people are the great farmers , workers, teacher, doctors, advocates, angels and livers.

They have their Iraq, and I love mine.

Their Iraq have chains, and everytime when they try to remove them, they fail,

and my Iraq is the one who can help to remove all the chains and free all the slaves.

They have their Iraq.. and my Iraq is mine.

Their Iraq is like a house gathering a bizzare family whose members are ready to kill each others and to steal each other. but My Iraq is like a house gathering a strong united family, every member knows which is the duty and which is the right. and the members are not alike, someone is old, other is young, other works in a job , other works in a very different other. they go to different tempres, churches, mosques and shrines, but they are all here for each other..
My people are the little guyes who try to climb the high mountains to find the nut trees, and the high date-palms to gather the dates. My people are the best mothers who care about their kids to make them learn how to be and to do, and who care about their husbands who have already come from the place where they could find remains of past others..

They have their Iraq.. and I have the one Mine.

Their Iraq is a land of secrets and history of past wars, but my Iraq's secrets are the ones who brough the treasures , the kindness, the beauty , the faith , the hope and the holy prayers. And history of who were one day here doing what we try to continue doing now.

They have their Iraq, and i have the one mine.

Their Iraq is about hell, they can't live in, but my Iraq is the Paradise that I love to have my life flying with the birds that fill its space with warbling to call others to come to sing..

Sing the Song of Life..

My Iraq is not like theirs.. Nothing can ever change my Iraq.. and nothing can ever change my love towards.

My Iraq is the great true... and their Iraq is the humble false.

I love my Iraq..

Sandybelle