26 Oct 2007

Learning sandybelle

A friend of mine asked me to change the word" insured'' with'' guarded'' in my post about Iraqis' ways of celebrating.
Thank you sir,
Your notices are very useful.


18 Oct 2007

Touched heart

Today I went to school, officially, the first day.
All girls wore the uniform( it is consisting in black skirt and white shirt).
I met my classmates and teachers.
" happy feast for you" I said to everyone, even the watchman.

I missed someone.
Ran, she was real friend. I have no real friends, but her.
She was always supporting me in my hopeless moments, she was always listening to me.
I went to the place where I met her for the first time, I remembered all the nice moments I spent with her.
We exchanged talking about our dreams of living peacefully and without terror.
She was modest and generous and beautiful girl.
Even, an overseer came to get a look about the teachers in our school.
He was specialist in English language.
" are you twins?" he asked us.
" well, not exactly!" we answered happily.

She was Christian. And I'm Moslem.
Our friendship shows all the world that there will be no difference among the religions if the heats love and help each other.
There are many people think that Iraqis are racists, absolutely, this isn't true at all.
Iraqis love each other, but in Iraq and like any other country, there are bad guys, they try to control the situation to give wrong look about Iraqis and to destroy them.
We understand what we face, this will not make us feel weak or hopeless, olds left many lessons for us, and what we face gives us lessons too.
We will stay strong and brave.

Today, Ran called me, " sandybelle! Are you home this afternoon? I love to visit you"
" yes dear, come in any time".
This was nice surprise.
I immediately arranged my room and got ready to receive her.
I prepared some of my important papers to give her, this can help her in her study.

She came, she told me that her dad was kidnapped again!! They paid 50,000 dollars to release him. They began to feel afraid.
As soon as her dad was released, she and her family left the city.
I hope I'll meet her again, someday.
They feel very sad now, they always go to the church to pray and ask God to give Iraqis the prompt peace.
God bless Ran wherever and whenever she be.

I think God doesn't leave his good serfs without keeping.
Allah always compensates me.
I got new friend.
You are my friend.
This year, courses seem to be having kind of difficulty.
I don't care, I the study.
I have to concentrate on the study this year.
May God help me to get high marks.
I'll do my best.

Teachers this year are friendly, especially teachers of chemistry and physics.
Teacher of chemistry full of vigor and energy.
Teacher of physics full of calmness.
And I love both them.
Many teachers distinguish between girl and another.
But they all love me, " you have nice soul my dear daughter" every teacher says to me.
This makes me feel high many times, and this make me feel comfortable when I feel sad.
Have nice spirit, you'll feel high forever.
Today, girls talked about the explosion which happened two days ago.
Some people stayed for 10 hours under the rubble.
Four houses have been destroyed completely, for no raison.
Many of the casualties are in dangerous case.
I hope they will get healthy sooner.

Terrorists are very stupid, they think that they can damage our hearts with this way.
We all say to them.
We all will stay brave and strong.

The terrorists don't know how harmful are these explosions!
Explosions destroy the nature surroundings, they increase the pollution, pollution in water, land and the air.
I'm sure that there will appear new diseases in the future in Iraq, as ruins remains.

Sooner or later, they will know how foolish they were! But that will be after many losses, especially loss of the kindness which has to full everybody's heart.
I hope bad things will be ended.
May God protect the Iraqis and all innocent people in the world.
Stay safe,


17 Oct 2007

Sometimes I can bear it

I don't know when will I say" thank God, it has gone, everything is perfect"!
Yesterday Was Messy Day.
Yesterday, I woke up( as what I do everyday), I had breakfast, took a bath and read something about .
In the noon, I helped my mom to prepare the lunch, we had fish and rice as well as the salad.
As soon as I said" oh mom, you don't know how hungry I am!!"
Explosion, no, so very violent explosion.
Home was shaken, bluster and dust.
Then, shooting and immediately the road was locked up.
American helicopters hovered and covered the area.

I felt so exhausted, and quickly went to the bathroom( strong vomit).
Then everything was quite , the street was empty of cars.

We used to put adhesive tape on the windows ( war condition).
Thank God, we had no losses, with the except of horror and fear.
" just because of good things that we did for the others, god did protect us" I said.

Later, I heard from friends we called, that there was truck full of TNT and bombs.
The explosion happened near a police office about 1 kilometer far from home.
At first, I expected it was in our street.

Our neighbor lost some windows and some possessions.
" hello sandybelle, I'm busy of gathering the bits of the glass of windows, hehehe, we don't have windows now!! Don’t worry, we will fix new windows, this is normal, this is the 4th time!!" girl said, when I called her asking her about her family's case.

I decided to go to her home to help her, but the governorate media announced the curfew.
In Ramadan, we prayed a lot and asked Allah to stop these bad things, but nothing has changed, at the opposite, the situation gets worse moment after moment.

Friend of dad's called us, he said that the ambulances are still carrying the injured and the died ones to the hospitals ( after 2 hours of the explosion). There are many victims, some are in very serious case.

Sometimes I feel that evil is stronger than us, we are still hopeful, but maybe hope should mean nothing for us.

Many Iraqis left, some with return and many without.

And I don't know, what about me." I wish I were in the olds era. There were no explosions, no bullets and no terror" sister said.

I am still wondering..

16 Oct 2007

Iraqis celebrate

Iraqis, in the middle of these bad events have their own ways of celebrating.
In the first day of the feast, most families gather at the house of the oldest member of the family, like the grandparents
Relatives exchange wishes( best wishes) and talking about many different subjects, personal( like talking about weddings) and original ( like talking about the situation).

For me, I didn't attend this gathering this year.
Way to Baghdad is dangerous and full of terrorists.
Last year, when I went to Baghdad, there were many terrorists, they kidnapped the travelers, and killed who were from sect differs with theirs.
Our driver was brave, he drove quickly through another way, so we could escape.

In the past, my cousins and I were all spending the time playing and exchanging jokes. We would take al- 3eediyat, and spend it on buying desserts.
We would go to the games city. We would buy some deserts for poor people who can't buy.

Al- 3eediyat is money we take from the parents and uncles and aunts( people who are older than us), as well as grandparents.
We would eat clecha too.

The second day, we would go to friends' homes to felicitate them.
The third day, we would stay at home to receive some visitors.
But this was in the past.
Now, some families are still do the same custom.
As well as, there many people mean to get married or engaged in Eid, to make the happiness twofold.
Some families spend Eid remembering their dear ones who died by different ways, like : killing, explosions- car bombs, mines, or so-, bullets of random shooting, and many other ways, due to the terrorism.
So, they don't have feast.
Others, spend Eid playing with the very simple and rusted iron games.
They can't go to the main games city, the situation is horrible and they don't have enough money to go.
This what touch my heart and make me feeling sad many times.
This year, I saw some hope.
In Baghdad, we have a park called al- zauraa
This park was closed for the 3 years ago.
People were afraid of going there, they could be killed by terrorists.
But this year, fortunately, our brave national guards and policemen guarded the place.
Many people went and spent nice moments there, they had picnics with Iraqi food, yum!!
There was some celebrating arranged by a media channel called al- hurria, the aim of it was to establish the relations among the Iraqis.
Some one asked" can anybody tell me how many sunnis and shiits here? There is big present , 1 million dollars for him "
They all answered with one voice" there is nobody sunni or shii, but just real Iraqi loves Iraq and its citizens".
The question was delusive, to make the others understand the Iraqis, and know them at their reality.
This show me, you and all the world, how brave and united are the Iraqis!!.
I'm so glad for this.
Baghdad and its citizens suffered a lot , and they deserve some happy moments.
I wish I were in Baghdad.
I hope I'll be in Baghdad next year, posting from there saying" hi, I'm in Baghdad, I'm happy, shining day came!!".

God bless our national guards, our policemen, all Iraqis and

The day when our beautiful Sun will shine so calmly will come soon, let's be sure of that.

7 Oct 2007

Beauty of Eid

After Ramadan, after the happiness by sharing others our favorites. After being closer to Allah.
We would live three days full of other kind of happiness.
Eid ul-fitr
Happiness when someone says" I wish you did well in Ramadan, I wish you prayed for me as I did for you and all the other ones. How do you live Eid's Spirit? Did you make Clecha? Will you go to the dreams city-as I like to call it- we will come with you.
This was in the past.
The three days are still three.
But the spirit has been changed.

Yesterday, I kept thinking of Eid. I remembered all the nice times I spent in the three days in the past - before 2003-.
I remembered when mama was making Clecha while I was tasting the dough and playing with it." ohh, you don't have to put it in your mouth, hh" my mom would say.I would stop eating the dough
I would be thinking of what will happen in Eid.
What shall I wear?- in Eid we used to wear new clothes-
How shall I spend Eid at my grandparents' home in Baghdad- in Eid we used to go to Baghdad to spend it with our relatives who would be come from their cities. Where will I go?
In fact, I would be thinking of 100 things at the same time.
But this was good.
This was happy.
But nowadays, many Iraqis don't like Eid to come.
They will remember all the nice times they spent with their lovers who maybe were murdered by terrorists, killed because of one of the explosions or bullets or so.

As usual, before the feast,
We cleaned all home, we made Clecha.
I remembered all the nice time that I was spending them in Baghdad, when I was getting up in the first day morning of Eid, seeing all my uncles and aunts, cousins , sisters and brothers and parents, I would say " Ayamkum Sa3eeda" - happy days for you- and I would exchange kisses and wishes among us.

I was thinking if these times will be returned someday, I hope so.
How will I spend the feast this year?!
Maybe I'll keep calling my dears felicitating them or by email.
How boring!!
I'll not travel to Baghdad, baghdad and the road to it is very dangerous( everyone says).
Maybe with supporting friends like my real friend IraqiAmerican , as well as family, I'll be able to spend al-eid cheerfully.
No no no, not cheerful eid, but at least, convincing Eid
But what happiness?
Everday, in the news, we hear that many Iraqis died as martyr somewhere and others injuired
How will orphans spend the feast?
How will the sick ones who can't find their suitable cure in the middle of these events?
How will the ones who lost their lovers yesterday or days ago?
How will the paupers?
Such people increase everyday in Iraq.

These questions are the 100 nowadays.
" Sandybelle!, what's wrong?" my mom said
" ohh, nothin mom" I answered.
Sometimes I think that the terrorism and unfear will overcome us.
But, in my heart ( like all other real Iraqis) there is a voice saying " free free"
What freedom? I don't know.
However, that will keep me breathing ( at least).
Maybe we all are waiting for our death, which is calmly steals a bit of our souls, bit..bit.
Then, we shall find that we became died without feeling of.

May Allah blessed our days.
May Allah protect you and all the Iraqis.
May Allah help us to stay optimistc and hopeful,
And to forget all our Sad Moments.

Eid Mubarak for all The Iraqis,
And for you.
Just like the sun,
I forgot to tell you, Clecha is an Iraqi dessert we make in Eid.
The one of it consisting dough filled up with: date , nut or cacao or so.
I do love clecha. and I do love you