25 Sep 2010

The Nexus

I read it, couldn’t trust it to believe it, and I seemed to be staring at it.
I was staring in the faces of others of my same age and others who were older and they all were busy talking and laughing.

That happened in a garden. One morning of one day of my past.

The garden's grass was telling the water drops how to dance gently, and the surrounding trees invited the sparrows to gather together happily.

Then, I stared at it again, it was spelling out the same paragraph I had memorized from another book, by the help of my parents, overcoming my stubborness " i can read it by myself", trying to make me understand the difficulty that any person might face in the beginning of learning reading. I would just open that book yearningly because I trusted it and believed it, and was sure it always kept the paragraph in a perfect way.
That book had the same name, was located at the top of a very beautiful table in my parents' room and appeared so much different from the one in my hand.
The book at home was big, with a very thick cover and so clear and big words written in a wonderful way. And the book in my hand was thin and its writing was normal and I could understand the words after tries of collecting the spelling of the letters.
My father was always teaching me the pleasure of writing, and he would always draw the letters as nets of points that I had to join together. So, I drew, wrote, spoke and enjoyed.

I couldn’t find out the difference reason between those two books, besides, they had told me that the celestial books could never change!

I ran to the teacher, who was sitting at a point out of a semicircle made up by girls and bags.
I asked her what that book was and she answered me that it was the Qur'an, I asked her back how, and this time, she gave no answer, she just kept gazing at me rising up her eyebrows, and trying to understand the continuation of my talking, which was mixed with discomfort, worries, queries and big desires to know.

I ran back to my place, then , I changed my mind and headed for the fence, which was engraved by shapes of squares and triangles which helped me to climb it up easily, I wanted to go into the outside world to find the answers I was willing to get.
I kept running, and I started coughing soon. The sun was facing my forehead directly, as if it was leading me the way. When I passed the corner of the road I found myself in a place higher than the houses before me, and the sweat dropped down my whole face. It was so beautiful to see my home fixed down there, amongst many others, I picked the information of the opening door but after a short while, a nightmare woke up.

I turned back afraid, and I stopped wanting to run. I began walking cattily, that no creature had to hear me coming.
Suddenly, I caught noticing its shadow before its body, and its barking before its fur. It was the same street dog again, and of course it was willing to attack me as usual.
I quickly decided to return to the masjid, but I found myself breaking through the air down to our house.

The dog almost caught me, but I cried and cried more and more, and it ran away!

I entered terribly. When I saw my mom, I burst into tears, and hugged her so tight. She was shocked, and kept asking me what was wrong, I was out of speech, and she did her best to conciliate me. She succeeded.

Later, I told her what had occurred, and she chirked me with a voice lighter than the breeze for I broke down my fear against that dog. She also, represented something about that book, and she said the Qur'an consisted of 30 chapters. And It was easier to divide it into booklets for each chapter to facilitate reading it for children like me.
I understood after listening so well, and after making her repeat it so many times.
In the afternoon, the teacher visited us to make sure all was fine, and I pinched my mom while she was talking to her, since I didn’t want the teacher to know anything.

I always smile widely when I remember that day, and I thank God sincerely for he gave me that great mother.

In the ends of that same Summer, I went to school, and it was my first year in a location like this. I found it so amazing, and I was always doing my homework with no loitering.
I came to know many new friends who carelessly shared in building my personality.
I so well still remember Mina.

Mina was a tall girl, with a brown wavy hair, and dark blue eyes. We liked each other, and we became close friends although she was older than me with perhaps 3 years.
We always shared food, juice, notebooks, puzzles, stickers and toys.
We were like one soul seperated into two bodies.

She said she was Christian, and that made no sense for me, since my mom's best friend had been Christian too and that had made no sense for my mom.

We were chalking a big map on the ground once ,when she told me she always went to the church on Sunday, "to say prayers and renew the emotions" I so far well remember her sentence. And inside me, I loved the idea, and planned to accompany her, I would take that little Qur'an ( I had named the one of my parents as the big Qur'an and my own one as the little Qur'an) and go to say prayers too.

Something happened that Thursday and made me forget telling my mom about my plan, but I surely told Mina, I asked her to teach me the church name so I would ask my mom to bring me there if she would have the spare time, and so, I would be with Mina renewing my emotions.
I showed Mina the little Qur'an, and I took the floor, until I noticed she was looking at me with a big surprise all time long.
There was a pause during which I was thinking of what to do.
Mina interrupted that pause, and said with a contement " you can't accompany me to the church. You are Muslim, you have to go to the masjid and say your prayers, you are not a coreligionist of mine dear" and she kept backslapping me. That baffled me, and gave me no chance to state I couldn’t understand her point.

The air surrounded us both warmly, but it made me feel its coolish masses too. That caused a banked load as I was trying to contradict those annoying lying doubts.

When it was time to return home, and after the bell rang, I ran to the school yard, and couldn’t see Mina amongst the crowded people.

Sadness tails were hard to pull, as though my limbs were crawling so hard culling me to be cumbered violently but able to walk over the holes to get into the car unawarely.

As soon as I got home, I found no hand to condone those tails or those holes.
My mom, the best conversable, with the same voice tone of early Summer, kept calming me down, and I can assume she became so tired trying knowing the main depth of the problem.

And that day, she told me something I had not known before " Sandybelle, people are many, and they are different too. Although they seem to be alike many many times. They love, dislike, want, and dream. Their feelings differ according to the situation. And sure, they need to refresh their emotions from a time to another. There are many ways to do so, and one of them, is saying prayers. The main purpose, is to talk to God in a formal way, explain their deeds, sins and goodies.
The prayers differ according to the religion. And there are many like Islam and Christianity. Each religion has got its own teachings, but they all originally are here to serve man and felicitate life and love." that was so much for my realisation ability, but I can say I guessed what she meant. " you shouldn’t be sad ever. As much as you love God and love Mina. Don’t worry about it, just trust the thing you do" she added.
I shrugged me shoulders and remained speechless.

Two weeks later, my mom took me to a convent. And it was the first time I entered a place like that.

I loved the masjid and the convent both. And never asked about that subject again. Perhaps because life brought much more and it was too enough and more important than talking about the difference, or perhaps I avoided talking about it because I was afraid I might not understand well again.
Mom also told me " the prophet Mohammad is for Islam. And the prophet Jesus Christ is for Christianity. Moses too was for Judaism"

By time, I learnt about sects too. And whenever I learnt a new thing, parts of my ignorance corroded and died out, and I felt more confident.
And I thought the question about the difference shouldn't be answered though, since as the answer tried to be complain, man's conceit turned caliginous and the beautiful truth's face soon hid behind the wisdom body.

"And the equality will just appear in the endless world, where we do never have to choke or fear.." the old man said " nothing to worry about, as much as we think deeply of the real necessary duties we've got to do today, or will do any other day. There's the big humanity, when the religions prostrate humily for man, and the greatness of Allah appears purely " he added as he held up his grandchild , and looked straight into a far distance,maybe he was thinking the same thing, of how much man loved life but chose being away from it.
The distance stretched along the sky, and maybe longer, and helplessly ended to an endless horizon,where the image of the little and big Qur'ans appeared, and the two books were held in Mina's hand...


P.S. my college will start this Sunday. And I may not be able to write often, so, for any expected :) absence, give me the excuse. and remeber that I love you..


Mike said...

Be blessed Sandybelle, for any blessed writing you introduce. Thank you.

Wisam said...

البوست غني بالمعاني الانسانبيه النبيله, ورائع بالوصف والتصوير
الله يحفظج ساندونه رمز لامراة عراقيه ناضجه في قمة النقاء

Steve said...

I always check your blog, from a time to another, and leave no comment( I have not left a comment for ages maybe ;)
but this time,I am so impressed by this very nice post. you are right, there's no difference between any two religions, because we are united in humanity.

Send my hellos to your great mother, may God bless her and keep her safe.

You too, Madam Beauty, stay safe and be blessed.

I really hope everybody can read this.

Baghdad's Kassakhoon said...

Wonderful and brilliant!

Ali said...

شمس, كولش حلو الشي الكاتبته, وكلش رقيقه انت
الله يحفظج رمز للانسانيه وحب الخير في بلدنا الي يفتقر لهالمعاني


Johny said...

I wish you luck in your college:)

You are very talented Sandy, and ou will have a great future ahead of you because you have a wonderful mind and a very big heart.

Jan said...

What a fantastic blog you have. The story about the pencil is a metaphor for life indeed.

Keep on studying and writing.
I'll bookmark your blog.

take care

Bross said...

You own a good mental intentions of writing that rare people have. I admire you so much. Keep up the hard work, the world really needs such encouragements, no differences in religions. We are united by our humanity.
With God's blessings

Julie said...

I hope kiling in Iraq with name of religion and sect will stop soon.
Take care Sandybelle

Henry said...

Very emotional and inspring. keep going Sandybelle. You are one of the best Iraqi inspired leaders.

Ali said...

ساندي بل, كل الخير والتوفيق الج يانور الانترنت
انتي صدك شمس بافكارج وكتاباتج وان شاء الله بمستقبلج, طبيبه ماهره وقائده عراقيه عظيمه

Fu'ad said...

It's a very interesting post.

Peter said...

Sandybelle, I always read your posts and i am so impressed by your entries. You are very talented. Keep up your hard work!
I wish you a big success in your study to be a doctor and in your hobby to be a big writer.
Whenever you publish a copy of your first book, let us know if you please.

Anonymous said...

i dont think i have passed over a post better than this. Considering that you are not a native speaker and always busy with your study..be blessed

Anonymous said...

الموضوع ممتاز جدا..اهنأج على هالملكه الادبيه الرائعه.واستمري بالكتابه والقراءه وحتصيرين احسن واحسن
وانصحج تنشرين مقالاتج بكتيب او بمجله معينه حته تبقى دستور يبرز اسمج ضمن المتفوقين اللامعين العراقيين

Anonymous said...

Enjoy every moment of college and do your best with your studies..you country needs you..

Anonymous said...

The special thing in your blog is the humanity and superiority that appear in every article.. Keep writing..

moonlight said...

Awww, wallah I couldn't help but smile while reading this post =)Allah e5aly umich habibty
Good luck in college...study hard and inshallah I know you'll be at the very top =)
~to lazy to sign in moonlight =P

Anonymous said...

A so far good job post!

Martin said...

hello Sandybelle. How are you there? I have just found your blog and i am so impressed.you are very passionate and talented. Keep reading and writing.

How was the first day in college?

Wish you a big success.

Martin, a Yankee

Reem said...

Keeeeeeeeeeeeeep going Sandona!!
Lots of things are waiting for you to do and enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Good job!

M.H.Z said...

Sandybelle, Those words are very deep and mature; if more people thought the way you do, life would have been a lot better. Keep up your blogging, it brings a very nice breeze of sincerity.