1 Aug 2008

It reminds me of every part of me

At 4:00am I woke up, did dawn prayers. Then, the time was 4:20 am, I began to count the seconds, one after one. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven , twelve ,thirteen , fourteen, fifteen and sixteen!!!woww!!

Just now!! I'm sixteen!!

The other night(when I was still fifteen), I kept remembering the sad things that happened all the years ago and forgot them in one minute, I decided to be a new, to take all the chances that have been given to me, this is the best way to have a new day, new year and new life.

I noticed that I had got a text message, I checked my mobile inbox, and said
" Wowwww!! really ??!!! hahaha, let me guess! this is why I had had that great dream yesterday!! because the friend remembered and mentioned me , hahaha" , I really had a great dream , it was like I was a doctor, and was sitting in a beautiful garden, with my best friends, and behind us, there was a hospital which I was in charge of!! My friends kept praising me in the dream. There were many children too, everybody was happy, and my family was flying , very nice plane. There were butterflies , doves , teddy bears and sparrows. Very great dream indeed, I wish you have seen such dream before, if not, I'm sure you will :D

The friend congratulated me, " happy birthday!", that what was written, how great I felt!!

Suddenly, mom woke up, she ran to my room, to make sure if everything was ok. I was extremely embarrassed, I didn’t mean to awake her. Later, she noticed my red cheeks, she kept laughing. When she left the room, I felt of a strange feeling, I cant call it, I just wanted to hug her, to stay on her laps for life, it was like I felt I'm still two minutes old, just like what happened sixteen years ago.

I kept imagining the matter. Mom left to the hospital at 3:00 am, and just at 4:20 she gave birth to me, after almost 7 months pregnancy! Daddy was standing near the window, waiting, after a while, the nurse came to him, and told him that a baby girl was born. Then, daddy, turned to the window, the sun was about to rise, as soon as he saw the first ray, he took a deep breathe, and decided to name me, this is why my name is related to the dawn and sun ,and since that time, I was called "how is her name, how is really she". Ok, dears, this is what I heard from the others about my birth, I wasn’t aware of what was going on at that time, I just realize that I was born, not only to be alive , walk, talk, but I was born to do, and work with the saying " the best one who does do the best for the others".

Then, I suddenly received another text from another great friend, I was very happy, really, just like the plume, flying among roses , with a great mountain behind.
Then, I headed for school ,I took juice and cake. On my way, I remembered the song that daddy was always singing (until I became 7 years old, daddy was always singing for me, carrying me between his arms and walking all around the room, so, I could sleep comfortably. :D

It is an Arabic song, but this can be a good translation for it
" from a city to city , from a place to place, all your days, you!! little sparrow!! couldn’t love any person but my little baby. You !!Soleil (he means me) , you !!jasmine!! our yearning took us , from a place to a place"

I love this song so much.

Then, the driver said suddenly" Sandy!! Don't you hear me? We arrived school!!"

"oh!!yes!!" I answered.

I entered the school, and took my way to the teachers' room, I entered it, there was the headmaster, the assistant, and my chemistry teacher, I was full of shyness and said" good morning, I just brought some cake for you, today is.."
" oh man!!! it is her birthday!!" chemistry teacher interrupted me.
Then, the headmaster came and gave me a kiss on my front( he always reminds me of my grandpa, oh, how much I miss my grandpa!) and said" I don’t want to say anything, but may all your dreams come true, may you be the great person you want to be, may you be a great doctor , to serve our Iraq, to please your parents and to make me happy ".
" I hope I'll see you celebrating your birthday in surgery room!! with bodies around you, hahaha, I'll keep laughing at you at that time , you little girl, hahaha" chemistry teacher said.( chemistry teacher is a very funny man, he loves me so much, once I could read his mind!!haha)
Then, Arabic language teacher came, and saw me, the headmaster told him about the matter.
" so!! Last Friday, when you had the war against bees , you was only 15 !!hahaha" Arabic language teacher said.
((last Friday, I had an Arabic language lesson, and I was sitting next to the window, when many bees wanted to sting me. Actually, I thought first that it was one bee, and whenever I kill it, I found another one . ' Sir!!it is one bee with seven souls!!" I said to the teacher.
" but do you know that today you became a great terrorist against e bees!!!hahaha, dear , there is a hive near the window, it It's better for you to change your place" he answered.))
" Oh!! So , we aren't the only ones who love her!!! You love her too!!" the headmaster said.
" I have already told you that I love her the most, and more than how you do" Arabic language teacher answered.
"and I love her too, I remember her very well, when she came to do the text to join the Smartest students school, which is in Baghdad, but her father felt worried about sending her there, because Baghdad wasn't good at that time. happy birthday for me sweet daughter!!" another chemistry teacher added as soon as he entered the room.
I felt so high, I wanted to fly, no, I was flying inside. It is so nice to realize that many people ,of whom you meet, love you at that much, and it leads you to decide to remain the person in their eyes, and to do all your best to BE.
I left their room, and took my way to the class, where I had an exam and got full makr in!!haha.
Then, I took my lessons. in the end of the day,all the teachers came and thanked me to remember them in this special day. Then I went to the worker at our school, I gave him something, I don’t know how he could feel, but the only thing I can say is that I saw a great sheen in his eyes, he kept praying for me.
I took my way back home, as soon as I arrived, I remembered my feeling, and hugged my mom, it was like it was the first time I hug her in!!!
Sisters were talking in whispers. I had lunch and went to study, at 7:30 pm. I had a small party at my house, when my friend Sj came(she lives in our neighborhood), and we kept listening to music, and talking about different things. At last she thanked me for letting her sharing my this special occasion.
I received texts messages from my other friends congratulating me,(many of whom I invited couldn’t come, they either had wedding parties of their relatives or the ways were blocked.( I received 27 texts!!haha)
I received a text from my friend Ran, then , she called me, she kept talking about the days we spent together , about every moment we laughed together in, we played and sang. About our picnics and how happy , wonderful and beautiful we were together!!
Do you know what? Many of my other friends had believed at first that she could be my twin!! The same out look, and a great harmony was between us.
In the evening, my sisters invited me to the special party (party for the three sisters only), and kept hugging me, and saying wishes. I felt so much happy.
In the night, I went to be, just like everyday , but that day was special, the first day, the first night I'm sixteen.
I said prayers, and kept thinking of my future, there is so much waiting for me to do.
I'm sure that Allah will always be, he is always here, and this is why I could be happy.
I remembered everything I have learned , and decided to make all my mistakes a source of learning, this is the best way for me to be pleased.
My faith leads me, my eyes can see, but the only thing that I devote my all life for to be able to see is The sun and what lies beyond it.

I made a wish and blew candles. May the wish come true, as well as yours.

Be happy like how I was, so, you will realize how much I feel I'm alive.


Update: situation here is so-so, everyone is talking about a new military operation.
I'm calling Maf from time to time, and she is doing well, I'm trying to do all my best with her, and I can notice how much she feels better now, but we all have to remember that no one can replace mammy.but as I always tell her, we are all here for her, and we are all together.
I kept talking to her offering help and I told her to join the private lessons with me (and I already arranged that, and was ready to pay the money for them, just if she said yes. but no, her dignity led her ot refuse my offers, although I did my best to make her believe that what I'm doing is not as charity, no, it is my duty that I help her, because I love her very much. She kept thanking me , then, I kept repeating words to encourage her, that I'm always here for her.
Iraqi students of 6th class of high schools received their marks, so many of my friends were very happy for their results. But other students say that the questions were not easy. My opinion is that the questions shouldn't be easy, although we don’t have electricity and any good studying spaces, but we are Iraqis and we used to challenge the age and the circumstances, and this is why we are different, we are the men who told people how to create cultures, we are the makers of the first civilizations, we are a great people. And as well, joining college is not that simple thing, only the students who really deserve to go to the college that they like should get their true chances as I see, and I saw the questions actually, they were not difficult, and they were not easy. This is my teachers' opinion too.
My friend basma got 89%, Zuzu got 93%( which I considered as a great achievement if we remember the horrible times she faced. Saba' got 95,4%, Arwa got 95;7%.
The averages are not that high this year, the first successful student who is from Baghdad got 97,9% whose name is Sama. My only wish is that everyone got as much as he/she gave. May God bless everyone…


Don Cox said...

Happy Birthday!!!! - - - Tell Maf that she should accept your offer of help, and pay it back by helping somebody else one day, when she can. Passing on the help is the way to accept it when you need it without feeling humiliated.

programmer craig said...

Happy Birthday, Sandybelle! :)

C.H. said...

Well Sandy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, haha, even though its already passed. Hmmmm...what do you think was the best part of being 15? You have a whole new year to look forward to...and who knows what could happen! There could be many new experiences and accomplishments waiting for you.

What a nice dream...the one where you talk about the hospital that you are in charge of! If that is what you set your hopes and desires to, then I have no doubt you will accomplish it.

Here at my school in the USA, there are many students who wish to be doctors or medical workers and are trying to get certified to move forward with their goals...but do you know what? None of them have your potential, not at all...because the work you take part in is going to be an act of patriotism to your country and devotion to your fellow Iraqis. Iraq needs you Sandy, and you will be their to answer her call.

It looks like everything is going great for you (except for the bees, haha :) :)keep doing well with school, because before you know it, you will be going of to college, like me, haha.

Something tells me I will be hearing about you on the news someday...a story about how you are serving your country and bringing hope to millions of Iraqis. :)

Anand said...

Thanks for trying to help Maf. I wouldn't present it to her as help. Rather I would say it is a joint study group (I am sure you tried.)

Allah is inside all our hearts. And it is that that causes you to love everyone. Life force is love.

When you surrender to God, you automatically love everyone and help everyone.

You have an amazing ability to be yourself, and let the true you come out. When you do that, the light within you spreads and affects everyone else positively. All around you are touched, and uplifted.

Thank you again, for being yourself.

Dany Many said...

Happy birthday!!!
OMG!!!you are sixteen!!how old you grew!!
please, keep your soul as the child that you should always care about.
your innocence is the way that leads you in your life and makes you the one you like to be.
Just be, and remember me after that :):):)

Anonymous said...

such a nice blog!! really, I'm touched by all your article.
you have past soul, deep, sad with sight of hope, smiling for the future,and lovely .
keep going and I'm here by your side. and when you become someone great in the future (and you are great now) please, the only thing I want you to do is to serve our country. Iraq, it needs you and need all of us.

Iraqi Mojo said...

Happy Birthday, Sandybelle!

Sandybelle said...

My dear friends,
Thanks so much for your nice feelings. I appreciate every word and I always keep you on my prayers.

And Ali you are always welcome here:) thanks for your visit..