17 May 2008
Words to lead me
My humble experience in life leads me to think of things can maybe be considered foolish or strange. I ask because I believe that I can express my true feelings like how I like to do, and I believe that my questions (which increase my confidence in myself and my experience in life) can be considered right because I'm still learning, although the parents depend on me highly but life is like the great ocean without border and with waves (maybe crazy waves:)).
Why were we made? It is a questions, and how a great question is it!! It leads me to think always of the high mountains, the large farms, the flying birds, the high trees, the shining sun, the lighting moon, the green meadows, the ants, bees, butterflies, fish, far seas, the low valleys.
The opened eyes, speaking tongues, catching hands and the doing hands.
Low valleys? High mountains? What is the relation between them and the doing hands and the speaking tongues?
Confusion? No, I don't think so.
Everyone can make his/her way to climb the mountain or to fall down the valley.
On life way, there are mountains and valleys.
I myself always look for the eternal immortality, should it be via my deeds, sayings or thoughts? Or the all together?
I choose the all. But what will happen if not everyone wants to listen? Or to hear the true voice that I call by? What will happen? if not everyone sees my true face? mm
What will happen if not everyone considers my deeds like I want and mean him/her to consider and think of.
I was talking to my dad about this. Dad said
" Dear, I admire this feature of you. Your special way in seeing the things is special".
" ok dad, I'm talking to you and really, I want you to tell me, I wonder, please, I'm not here to listen to praising. Please!!'' I interrupted him angrily !! because really the questions were hard for me. Why some people behave foolishly? Why are there not good people? Why? why???
" Oh come one!! I'm not here to praise you, I just tell you the truth, and the truth asks me to tell you the truth!!! Strange sentence right?
But look dear, I completely understand very well how do you really feel. Let me tell you, you sometimes turn against yourself for no main and true reason. You become too hard at yourself. I appreciate how you suffer to live in pure world, world tries to gather everyone by one hand to work for the land, the land that always gives us but many of us don't see the right and so, don’t appreciate. I see !!
I still remember your eyes when they shed tears at hearing the saying " The best one is who do the best for the others", I know you , really know you.
But your questions lead to others ,dear.
Why don't we put the secret of God in front of us always?. God, who made us to be together and gave us the heart, the mind and everything may help us.
You see dear, thoughts of today are not like the thoughts of 100 years ago, or thoughts of farther duration, because everyday contains the new, the new that leads to new.
I realize that the heart is the same, which owns four chambers. But do all of us make the chambers specified for the right feelings?
And the mind is the same, but do all of us use the mind parts for the same and the high ideas?I don't mean that all of us should use the mind in the same aspect, no ,although the concrete things are the same, but the unperceptible things are different. The way of thinking , the way of learning and teaching is not the same, and this is why we are here, able to communicate, and this is why we don't feel of ennui. If there was not evil we wouldn't be able to feel of the goodness, as if there was not darkness, we wouldn't be able to feel of the light.
But this doesn't mean that we should stay here hopeless, and warm our hearts upon the fire, no. we know the benefit of the light, and the great return of the goodness through that, so we have to work for the best thing that our pure hearts feel of.
I'm sure that many times you feel that the earth doesn't rotate. Whenever you do something wrong, and don't you forget that we all do wrong things in our lives, but of course, not everyone means to mention them, this one of the humans' features and no one can avoid mistakes and no one can deny this., anyway, when you do something wrong, and as soon as you feel of it ,and say " Oh my God! How horrible! How could I do it?!!, Oh No!!", you will make another step on your way to climb the highest mountain. It is better than insisting on remaining on the fault.
Dear, this is one of the things that I like of you. The great virtue is when you say I'm sorry when you do a mistake.
Now tell my, why you are angry? Mmm, now is daddy's time, to joke, come one"
Then daddy began to make jokes to comfort me.
I'm so grateful that I have such great encouraging dad.
Then, before going to sleep, -and after saying the prayers that I like to say- I turned to think of my dad's talking.
What do you think of it?
I felt comfortable, and in one minute I remembered all my mistakes, and felt of the benefit of my good deeds, ok I realize now that good deeds are great and the aims of any giant person.
I said " I'm sorry", I was sorry towards myself, all the people that I know, and to God.
I'm sorry for everything wrong I did in my life, whole my life.
And I also forgive everybody did something wrong with me, forgiveness is a great treasure. Yed.
Thank God, because he supports us, by making us see the true faces, hearing the great voices, giving the best to do the good deeds and by having friends. Friends stand by the one's side.
Now, my message to everyone " let the matters be, listen , think, say and do.. and let's see how great the life will be.. life is about two days, day for you and day against you. So , let's be happy and proud of the one for us and strong for the one against us.".
We are like secrets. We are like pencils. Let's write the right thing.
Sandybelle the Soleil.
BTW: for these days, I suffer of a strange heart pain, I wonder, should I tell my parents? I don't want to irk them or to make them feel worried. what do you think?