Still trying to find the clue to understand what happened that evening.
Not the first time I felt of my nose so cold, not the first time I felt my body frozen, and not the first time I needed a strength to close my eyes.
It was "yes" , tomorrow was back!
To trust my fate, to trust my ways, and my days.
"At least, he doesn’t doubt my love .." and I don’t need to call him.. I have to learn more, to get the ability and the suitable features to invoke his blessed soul. He had gone hundreds years ago, but I am sure, he was somewhere there.. somewhere I couldn’t see nor grope, but now, I do.. I am OK.
I believe it will never happen again, and I will never ask for anymore. It was too enough for me..yes, enough.
I always wondered, when, where and how to reach him. Today, its all due to him, and I don’t need to wonder at all.. I am just thanking him.. he was the reason to awake me.. O Lord!! Tell him that I am fine!! Tell him please!!
It was so complex, and fear captured me.. like cannibals were in a city, and I was there, it was so hot, and I demanded a canopy.. realization that caging my emotions as well as my cries was so hard, but I had to cling, I had to be collected.
Hmmm, its something calls me to itch my skin .. As if somebody tried to calminate my reputation, somebody was full of energy, and only ready to say that I was weak and I must never be depended on. and I was angry, it was all lies.. inwardly, I may laugh for it all was about a nightmare, and for why I am typing this now. Maybe because I am willing to study orthography.. maybe.. let these fingertips do what they like to do.. they should take their chance..
When my dad talked to me, he clearly noticed that I was ill, and he kept asking me why and when.. he kept urging me to take medicine and in the beginning, I ignored his advice, I just dislike the medicine, later, I found it unbreakable, all the matter was unbreakable.
In my bed, I kept thinking and raving, unfortunately, I cant remember my words. The carousal, the cardigan that I really needed, it suddenly became cold.. I think I can chuckle this moment.. :D
My little sisters kept preparing food for me in very beautiful plates, -I was sick, and I should have been taking food in special dishes, just like any princess.. oh , what a great idea lol !!-
Actually, my parents' friends bring us Iraqi food for every day of Ramadan, each day for each family. it was a great feeling to realize people's love towards you.. so great to know how wonderful, amazing and nice your parents are!!!
So , all my sisters' job was to put the food in a proper way. :D
And all my job was to nibble my meal..
In the night, my goal was how to let me little nouna (my youngest sister) sleep well. She was so afraid about me, and kept praying all night long.. I asked her to sit next to me, but not so near, and I kept singing, oh! she liked the lullably.
It was the next night, just when the sleeping started sneaking, the same nightmare began to repeat the events.. I was scared and refused to sleep. That opaque importunity had to disappear..
These are the blessed days that I waited for so long, to live them with a bit of comprehension. It shouldn’t be like a normal annual custom, to wake up early, stop eating when the sun rises and when you hear the caller in the mosque.. and the questions about the tenor behind, and why God offered an excuse for those who cant fast for a reason or another. These were questions, I am doing my best to help.
" it’s a blessed day.. a blessed day.." when another little horror's shadow began to come closer, I said and followed by my favorite verse from the holly Qur'an. I couldn’t observe it, all what I think " it was an attempt to crawl" !
Just another fable .. expect tomorrow to come back!
When I was sick,whom I needed was my mother.. I really needed her..