20 Jul 2008

Rose of past

Frozen one was my body when the nice breeze of dawn blew , it is summer, I found that very weird, frozen body in July!! Why not?! I got flu!!
During the day, I was not stuck in bed, no, it is only a flu, and I had so much homework, and so much to talk about with mama.
Mama bought me a new set of pencils ( I do love pencils ) , and while I was arranging them in my case, I caught sight of something very dear for me. My first copybook in school, how great I felt as finding it!!! I kept turning the pages, laughing at myself and my handwriting , haha, how funny it was!! (although I was able to write when I was almost five years old, but it is handwriting of a child:) ), my copybook is full of stickers , of Tom & Jerry which was my favorite cartoon at that time. and mom was the one who wrote my name on it (referring that the copybook belongs to me), soon, my tears fell down and I went to my mom, carrying all my copybooks of this year, and I let her write my name on them. And I asked daddy to buy me stickers which I like them to be of Tom and Jerry too. I don’t know, does my wish sound like I want to be back to my childhood, or does it mean that the young soul is still alive in myself…
Among the words (which were the simple phrases of the marks and letters of alphabet) I found the name ( Sura), "Sura??" I wondered, then I showed my mom it, she would remind me of who Sura can be, although they have been only nine years since that time, but I got enough to forget it, she said " Oh Soleil, don’t you remember? Sura? And Abbudi ?her brother? Uncle Emad!!) , I soon said " Oh yes, yes, I remembered".
Only mentioning of these people may remind me of the happiest times I spent in my life, how great I was with them!!
I still remember Abbudi and I building the simple house of cubes set, and Sura was keeping staring at us, calling my name singing the song that referring to it too, I was so happy with them, they were like my family and more. They have left Iraq for five years, I really miss them, before they left Iraq they had returned to Baghdad (They are Baghdadis ), and my visits to Baghdad became greater since they went there, I every time was visiting their house and now I can remember how much shy Abbudi turned when I wanted to shake his hand , haha, he felt that he is old enough for saying hi to me like a gentleman without shaking hands , not like a child. Sura's name must be written by me when I had thought of her that once, she was always there for me, and the picnics that we had together(which I miss too) are the best in the world.
Everything of those nice moments turned to be bygone, as a rose of past.
Then I put back my most wonderful copybook with my other favorite ones. It should be my number one diary , every simple mark of it says hello to my life, and so makes it so much better.
All the years ago, I had my own circle of people, people come and people go, but the all engrave the nice memory in my mind, people can never be forgotten.
Many of our friends have left Iraq after or before the last war, and many of them too came back, maybe many people think that they might be crazy to decide to come back to Iraq, but they did and they are doing well now.
Many families in Baghdad ( Baghdad. Baghdad..Baghdad, how much I Love this city!!) came back, and earlier my cousin called me, she said that the situation in Baghdad is so much better than Mosul, although there are many barricades, but it should be as a step by step. We all hope and pray for the better bext.
One day when I was about 5 years old , I did love a young singer called "Najwa Karam" , she had a song pretending like Cinderella in !! And I liked her since that time, I made my dad take me to all the shops in Mosul looking for a picture of her, hahaha, how stubborn I seemed sometimes!!! Then, I found the picture, hahah and kept it near my cupboard.
Whenever I see children in streets walking among the cars in the roads junctions selling cigarettes or biscuit I feel of grief inside, that I'm so sorry to see those children working while I and many others could have the chance to live as a child one day. I'm very grateful and thankful for this, but very sad too. I don’t know when will the day ,when I will see those children taking their way to school, come? Every night I pray for them, deep and hard life seems many times.

Myself and I was talking last night, what if what has someone I know said is right?
" whatever I do, whatever I get, I will die someday and nothing will be for me, so no need to get stressed of the life and no need to do the best for things will go away someday".
No , no , I'm sure it is wrong, because I soon realize that it is right that we are all going to die someday, but at least we are having the minute to live happily and able to feel that we are here.
Iraq had many horrible times that made some people think like that, many wars and everything has the share of making many people here ignorant and unable to think of the beauty of considering that the world is only about little village as together as we can live.
The wars made Iraq alone and weak one day, and this is why we need a lot now to do for rebuilding the our home. But the main thing is we don’t need any other war anymore, nor any quarrels with our neighbors or with each other.
I every time when think of the matter, my insistence that I will do all my best for my country and my homeland grows bigger and bigger.
We have to make great relations with all the other countries, this is exactly what we need, forgetting the sad past and focusing on what we faced for avoiding repeating the mistakes and for creating the enormous lives, so we will work only for the future, the future that we all hope to be brilliant.

Lately, I felt sad for no main reason, like my heart was surrounded, I don’t know why, I got stressed too much, but I still remember my math teacher when she said at seeing me like this " Don't be sad while you are the only one who can leave the doors opened for all the positive things and closed for all the negative things. The life is so much greater than spending it like a weeping philosopher , haha".
I really love my teacher and I'm very proud of her, she helped me many times , and now I miss her, but I also have luck to have great friends to support me always , hold my hand to touch the sky and stand by me whenever I need them.

Thankfully I'm doing well with my studying, and I'm very busy with it.
My teachers are nice and I'm happy with them.
Situation is bad actually, the bridges are blocked from time to time, and national guards are angry, American soldiers too, people here expect another military operation, because the last one wasn’t the perfect the Mosul need.
Within the last days, ten car-bombs exploded, and we are afraid of this in deed.
My friend told me that she say a killed man on her way to a copying shop, maybe these scenes turned very normal for the Iraqi people , but really sadly I say this.
Many American tanks are in the streets,and hovering warplanes. Today the tank was only about 4 meters away from me. Ok, seeing American tanks doesn't mean anything good, it means that these soldiers are chasing terrorists and so there are many terrorists.

The weather is very hot. And we get limited hours of power ( but I can't deny it is better than two months ago).

"There were nights when the wind was so cold,that my body froze in bed,If I just listened to it right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel ,that all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever" I am singing, let the nights be full of pleasure that we can't live the night twice….


9 Jul 2008

I had a wonderful time

this is al AmadyyaLittle village on the surface of a mountain

On Friday , I went to school, I had an Arabic language lesson, there , I met a new girl, she is from Baghdad, and she has come lately, and didn’t know anything about the schedules, the lessons, the teachers and the useful booklets that the teachers prepare to help the students in their studying. So I made her meet the teachers and prepare her suitable schedule , buy he booklets. And then she kept thanking me and I gave her my cell phone number.
When I came back from school, I soon had a bath, and in about half an hour the driver came, and we headed to Duhok.
The weather was very hot, and the way to Duhok was funny, the driver is a poor simple young man, and daddy kept making jokes with him (as I told you, daddy loves to joke, hahaha). And he kept telling us stories about his childhood. He is very simple man. May God bless him and all the Iraqi simple poor men.
In about one hour, we arrived Duhok, and took our way to the motel where we had already booked a small flat.
This motel belongs to a group of buildings of Mazi Company ( there are two main motels, supermarket, supermarket of furniture, amusement city which is called Dreams City and big swimming pool), so we really had wonderful times.
Then, at about 12:30 a.m. , my brother ( the first young man ) came, and I really was surprised that he hasn’t been changed with looking, haha. I have not seen him for about almost two years. And my other brother B, was taking his way to Duhok from Erbil .
So, we waited for my brother B to come.
As a matter of fact, I was very tired, I didn’t sleep well in the night, and got up very early ( when I wrote my last post J), had a lesson and a long way. So I had a nap for about half an hour. Then my brother B came, and I was surprised that he has been changed!!! He has turned more cultured and open-minded, but I actually didn’t agree with most of their ideas. Anyway , they are my brothers and it is very nice that I disagree with them , so , we wont find boredom, hahaha.
Then, we went out in the afternoon, to the supermarket and Dreams city.
Actually, the city centre of Duhok is small, and one day is enough to see all the places there.
In the dreams city, I met many people, Arabians and Kurdish. And I really had an amazing time. I have missed visiting of an amusement city in Iraq. And the games were funny. UFO ( or the flying saucer ), the space gun, the horses, the train and many others. I cant deny that the amusement city is very good, but it needs to be improved more. To make it perfect.
My sisters and I kept playing , as well as my brothrs. Haha.
Once, my brothers took my sisters to play with the horses game (which I didn’t play with , I'm not a child :):) and I stayed with my mom and dad ,who kept talking about the difference between Kurdistan and Mosul, there is safety and comfort. It is like one hour separate between a world and one other greatly differs with the first. All our hopes that Mosul and all the Iraqi cities will be like Kurdistan with development and freedom. Suddenly I met a VERY BEAUTIFUL baby, she is Kurdish , and I really wanted to kiss her. She looks like me when I was a baby!!! She is no older than 7 months, and as I know some Kurdish words like ( Choni? = how are you) I said it to her, and her mom kept talking to me in Kurdish, OK I'm not good in Kurdish, so I told her ( nazanem kurdi = I don’t speak Kurdish) ok, I'm sure I did a mistake ,but she could understand me, haha. And it seemed that she is very good that she kept talking to me in Arabic. And asked me to learn Kurdish. Ok, I will do my best to learn anything the world wants me to learn, just when I graduate from high school, hahaha.
And she left her baby with me and went. She asked me to take care of her whose name was Jwan , and I kept kidding her till she began to laugh. Haha. I don’t know whether it will make use if I work as babysitter someday. Haha
Then we had dinner and went back to the flat in the midnight. We were very happy.and we kept making fun all the time.
I saw a group of bizarre boys, they had big tattoos on their arms!! I was afraid actually, they were tattoos of skulls. Waw, I soon left the place. :):):)
But what saddened me a bit, is that while we were playing, a young child came with tearful eyes to my brother asking him for some money to play by. My brother soon took him and bought him the wanted cards for playing..
The next morning, we hired a mini bus to take us to the summer residences. And the way to them was amazing, we had breakfast in the bus!! Ok, let me tell you that we didn’t et up early for breakfast, we woke up at 7:00 though!! And we kept listening to music ( mixture of English , Arabic. And Iraqi songs ). My brothers kept talking about their Kurdish friends and the Kurdish weddings they attended. Thank God everything was perfect with them.
Our steps were : Zawita, Sersang, Swilaf ( beautiful summer residences ), Amadyya ( very very beautiful village mainly situated on a mountain, and people there are Kurdish but are not like Kurdish of Duhok, they have their own customs ), Sulaf (other summer resort) ,Aishawa and Inishki ( where we visited a cave and they said that in that cave the first human lived, it was very cold inside, there is a small cafeteria too, we had tea (for my parents and brother and juice for my sisters and I), Sersang ( another summer resorts) , and then we took our way back passing by very beautiful places.
I saw a lake, small lake indeed ,and there were many buffaloes there, and I insisted on stopping there to take photos with the cattle , but my dad refused saying that the buffaloes are dangerous and no one can trust them, they might do any unexpected thing.
We passed very near to the mountain edge, and I really fear the high places, and my brothers kept encouraging me, Ok, let me tell you, I was able to look into the valleys this time. It was a very wonderful thing.But do you know what? Mom had visited the north many times in 80s and she said " ok, the north of today is not like the north of 80s, in the past it was more beautiful, the nature was more wonderful. Many trees have to be planted and many good cafeteria should be placed here. Mmm everything needs not more than two years to be perfect". Ok my mom cares so much about rebuilding, and this what she could say before thinking deeply.

Then, we went to Duhok Dam, it is beautiful and I saw many Maslawi families there. The all were having fun and great times.
My brothers met many of their childhood friends there. It was like a miracle!!
Then, we headed back to Duhok, we had lunch at Shandukha (the most famous restaurant in Dohuk) , there were American soldiers too, without guns!!! no one can deny that the American soldiers favor Kurdistan zone the most.
Then we went back to the flat to have a rest. And in the evening , we went to the zoo and then back to Dreams City, but my mom and I stayed at the calm yard, with the plants and trees. There we met more Kurdish families ( actually all our Kurdish friends are from Erbil not Duhok), and mom had wonderful time with the women. There was a wedding celebration( ok, we weren't the only ones who had a celebration , haha) .then , we didn’t want to go back to the flat, so we joined the sisters ,the brothers and papa. This time there were many Arabian families, from Baghdad, they came as tourist groups by buses. The all were talking about Baghdad proudly, and I was filled with hope to visit Baghdad soon ( I know I know after graduation ) haha. Ok, I have many plans to do after this year which I consider out of the expected joy during my lifetime, yes, because I have my studying that I have to focus on completely.

I kept overhearing the young men and women from Baghdad, haha. At least to hear Baghdadi talking. Haha.
I love Baghdadi talking like ( Shlonich= how are you *for the female*, Shlonek= how are you *for the male* Bacher= tomorrow, Sug= market, Kulshi mashi = everything is ok) and many others .haha

At 1:00 a.m. we came back to the motel. and I really felt of a great feeling, that the great things make everything wonderful, and make the eyes see nothing but the beauty and the tongue say nothing but the happy words.
Since early morning, at 7:30 a.m. we headed back to Mousl, because I had a lesson at 10:00a.m., the way was very horrible, very crowded and the weather was very hot. But the car conditioner worked very well actually, so we didn’t feel of that so much.

As soon as I came back home, I had a bath, and got ready for school. The driver came to take me ( Thank God, I have my own driver so he waits for me as much as I might be late, actually, I DISLIKE to be late, but that time I was compelled to be late).
I had a lesson of physics, and the teacher is very funny and smart. I like him very much.

Yesterday, I went to school, had four lessons , chemistry (I had an exam and I got full mark, and guess what the teacher wrote on my piece of paper? " Excellent for you!!! Doctor Soleil inshallah", I was greatly happy , OH LORD!!! I really need your support always, and being doctor is the main goal for me, when I'll be able to enter the hospital and take care of the patients , the children especially, how great it will be if I can save someone's life !!!! how great!!!

Do you know what friends? Most of the students with me know the teachers relatively and so have a great relation with them, but My parents are not from Mosul, but I could be the teachers' friends soon, it is so nice, that a Maslawi girl came to me to be in intercession place for her about something, I stood by her, and guess what? We found out that the teacher does know her father and uncles. Hahaha

Finally , what I can say>>
As the tree grows up, as the rose gives perfume , as the sky can be seen blue , we will be able to bring back all what we missed , and everything will be quite perfect , just because we are here.


Note : my mom's friend knew of our visitng to Duhok, and insisted on us to go with her again soon, another trip to Kurdistan. With her children , it will be amazing.
And something else, the situation here is not that good, today we heard two explosions occurred near our neighborhood.

4 Jul 2008

Day by day

A few days ago, I was stuck in the road back home for a bout two hours. The weather was hot and unbearable, I though there had been salt in the air!!! It was horrible, as soon as I came back home I had a bath, I didn’t want to leave the bathroom, I was afraid of that!! ( make fun of me :) really, we didn’t have electricity at that time, actually, the power is very miserable , and we in the night suffer of the hot weather, but we at home have our own generator ( most of the Iraqi families have three lines of electricity, national line, quarter generator line ( which is a generator, rather big, many families take share in paying money for the man who is in charge of switching it on and off , and the one ampere cost is 10 thousands ID= 8. 30 $, and the home generator line, and in Mosul, there was a decision announced by the governorate that all the generators switch on the generators at 1:00 p.m. till 6:00 a.m., with one hour for rest after each three hours of working ) .
Then I spent the day studying. Actually, studying is not that simple, not like how I thought, but no matter, it is the last year suffering and I have to DO ALL MY BEST at least to please my parents and to make them feel proud of me, my parents do their best to allow us free and pure living, to not need anyone else, and it is my duty and part of the charity that they give us without feeling of is to work hard to create the true smile on their faces.
For the record, I started all my lessons lectures, and my mom made me have private lessons with the teacher in all the subjects except religion.
I changed my physics teacher, not because she is not good, no, she is good and she likes me, but the girls who are with me are horrible dears, very selfish, I don’t know what could happen with them, just four months ago everything was ok!! but maybe it is the life, who gives lessons and calls people to keep in touch and help each other, hasn't given them the lesson yet. I'm not here to blame them, I know they will be sorry, and I don’t care about that, I have already forgiven them for every bad thing they did for me, because any case I cant forget any good moment we spent together, maybe they can, but NOT ME and I can never be changed. And I will stand by their side whenever they need me. My greatest friends taught me that, and I promised my friends and my family to be who I am always.
Anyway, when I told the other teacher physics, he was very happy that I will join his group. I attended the first lesson with him, he has very weird and lovely way to teach, very good teacher, and he kept making fun in the spare time.
Actually, I am very happy with my teachers, the all love me and understand me, and I love them too, especially the one of English language( I talk to him by English, so that my English will improve more and more) and do you know what he says? " I see you as a child , like you are still 7 years old, you are very innocent and the life doesn’t need such innocence , but you are great and wise, ok ok ,I'm saying nonsense, but you are nice " he says that, and to be honest, I didn’t understand what he meant perfectly well, haha.
And the teacher of chemistry is very very funny man, I am very comfortable with him ,actually he is the one who always helps me at school , and Arabic language teacher is very good man, he admires me very much especially when he knew that I write poems, he is very good man actually.
And I'm going to join a group of a good math teacher.
Ok, this is the first time I get lessons with men teachers, I feel of their fatherly spirit, they are very kind and lovely. May God bless our teachers, because they will stay stars in Iraq sky.
Mom was in Baghdad , as well as my sisters, I stayed at home with my dad. I was his mom !!!! haha, I did all what he needed, cooking, arranging home, and joking ;)
Mom came back and bought very nice clothes for me , (she is really generous mammy haha), she went to many places .Karrada, Alzawra'a park, philisteen street , al kadhmyya, and many others.
But mom said that electricity and water service their is very bad. and one day, my uncle was walking in the street when an American tank passed by him, and suddenly stopped, three soldiers were completely armed got out of the tank, and kept asking my uncle about what is missed in the quarter of services. actually my uncle was amazed, it is rarely to see soldiers care about services, and they are not any soldiers , they are the American , who are well-known as violent that no one should be near to them, but my uncle kept explaining the matter for them, and they paid attention!!!.. anyway, I myself hope everything will be ok within a short time.
Mom and all her brothers and sisters headed to another city,but my sisters didn't like to go, so they stayed in Baghdad with the other children at my aunt's house with her daughters and sons( two beautiful young ladies and three young men) and the all had a great time there, I wasn’t able to go because of my study and caring of my dad!!!haha.
The way Baghdad- Mosul was good, they spent only 6 hours, and their were no criminals groups, and there were many cars actually with many families.

My dad's friend , who is from Basra , said good-bye for his nephews (A and B) for ever. They are soldiers and they were taking their way to Mosul , which was decided to be their battlefield agains the terrorists, but they were murdered on the way, just because they wanted to come and to help people here to live peacefully, and to say Farewell!! For the misery of living under violence.
The both left two poor families behind them, A had two little girls and B had a baby boy. What was their crime??? What was the benefit behind their killing?
No one knows…

Today, I'm taking my way to Duhok, to see very very special two young men, I miss them highly and I expect ( actually I'm sure) to have a great time with them. We will celebrate their graduation party, " the days pass very quickly, now , they are two men and they have the life to face depending on themselves " daddy says.

OK dears, I'm going to have breakfast now, haha. And I wish this updating was good.
I'll tell you about the trip next time.
So, till next time be safe