Hello friends,
My dear friend anand asked me about my nick name, Sandybelle.
Sandybelle is a novel by Gez Lafisher, and the novel talks about a young girl who lost her father when she was a baby in some drowning and her mom was missed so. This baby was saved by two men, they were dear friends. One of them was called Christie and the other Lonwood, Mr. Chrisitie took Sandybelle as a daughter and she grew up between his hands, he gave her the kindness and warmness that made her be good girl ( so good girl) , lovely, smart and cute. She lived in Scotland and everyone there loved her for her great manners. There were some guys feeling jealous of her, but she returned that with nice help and cooperation. She later met Mark ( her flowers garden prince) whose family was very rich, and they both shared help and support.
Katy is another girl feels jealous of her and always tries to make her fall in troubles, but who cares?!! Sandybelle remains the lovely girl.
The story contains many events, Mark left Scotland to unknown place and worked too hard to accomplish his dream of being a famous artist, Sandybelle with her great heart and mind and with hard wok could achieve her dream of being a journalist in London after leaving Scotland because Mr. Christie had died and told her about her whole story and so asked her to go to London to work and live at Mr. Lonwood.s house there.
At the end of the story , she could meet her mom and how great meeting it was!! And she could meet Mark too, and I think the both got married later.
And I really can find many of her features in my personality, her talking and thoughts. I admire her insistence to live freely and give a lot.
Through Sandybelle's I could learn that there are rules to live happily,
" never hate, don't worry, live simple, give a lot, expect a little, always smile and have good true friends".
and as well I could find Iraqi Plume as a simple way to remind me always of comfort and freedom and purity. As well with the plume the bird can fly so high, until the sky.
And Soleil is my favorite word in French and this is why I chose it as the French nick name, and as you know, I'm so affected of the sun and its rays.
This is my strategy and this is me.
My dear friend and atsuma sent me these links,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoKlPsnSU_Q&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_PGdEC7oDo&feature=related
Thank you so much dear friend :)
***************************************
I actually don't know what can I call the last days, there were random feelings.
Regards school,
I am satisfied by my grades and I could get higher than 90% in every subject and so I'm free of the final exams, the smart students here can be free of the final exams.
Today , we watched a movie at school " Merchant of Venice" and I felt I was in movie, and days ago we watched the movie of Oliver Twist.
My friends are alright, as well as the teachers.
My religion teacher got engaged to a good man, when she came to our class, we made the Halhula ( it is an Iraqi sounds women make in celebrations and happy moments). Although my religion teacher is a bit sectarian but she is rather good. I wish her all the happiness as well as the others.
This is the end of this academic year, it was such a hard year, different things could happen, sad and happy moments.
Many days I was forced to study at lantern light because we didn't have electricity, and, many days we saw American and Iraqi military tanks through the window ( which face the main street) chasing the terrorists, many days we got shocks by sudden explosions and bad news of murdering some dears and so.
Hope was in our hands or we couldn't stay alive. We are still hopeful and we will stay like that forever.
Regards family,
Dad is abroad and my little sisters was sick and thank God she is feeling better now.
In General,
I heard bad news. My primary school headmistress had died day ago ,and I was horribly shocked, she was not my headmistress, but also a friend, a grandma and so wonderful teacher. I feel so sorry for that.
And Arsham is very famous chemistry teacher in my city and he also had died yesterday, he was my brothers' teacher, I don't know him, but they talked to me about him for a long time, and when I told them, they felt so sad, and kept asking God to give his soul mercy. they were so sorry and hard could hide their tears.
This is all up to the minute, and my only wish is to lived happily for the next..
Stay safe,
Sandybelle
24 Apr 2008
20 Apr 2008
I learn....
She taught me the letters and asked me to form the words..
She gave me the lyrics and asked me to sing..
She gave me the seeds and asked me to sow and then to reap..
She drew the painting and asked me to sprinkle the colours..
She gave me the candle and asked me to keep it alight..
She opened the book and asked me to read..
She established peace and asked me to live with..
She taught me love and asked me to spread it..
She talked to me about heart and asked me to see by it..
She gave me a hand and asked me to give another..
She shoed me the sea and asked me to navigate..
She pointed to the sky and kept telling me the names of sun, moon, stars and clouds..
She talked to me about people and asked me to consider them my family..
She gave me the plume and asked me to write with..
She asked me to accept any calling I hear..
She opened the window for me and asked me to breathe the fresh air..
Then , she told me the numbers and asked me to count..
Before she let me notice these things, I had thought that everything is normal and it was made to be like that simple how..
Now, I have realized>>
Letters were made to form words by and to let others read then, because every word has power..
Singing makes voice reaches farther from oceans and mountains, because voice has tones and power..
Seeds and new lives are alike, we were sowed and we grow up to give fruits at last, and every tree can be known by its fruit..
Everything has colours, but not every eye can see them, we have to use our eyes to see what can't be seen..
Candles are like hope, we have to keep it alight..
Life is like the book and we have to write words by the chosen plume..
Peace, I feel of its importance now. When the man loses something he/she feels of its importance.. and we have to live in peace with our people, friends and ourselves..
Love is the great source, with love we can forget the sad moments and create for brilliant future..
What is important of what you see is what you see by your heart..
With hands we can touch different things and give others and carry others..
As big as the sea seems we should make our ambitions, and as high as the sky appears we should feel..
Sun, moon and stars are senses sources, and clouds bring rain and with the rain there are treasures, although clouds can hide the sun for a while..
Before she told me, I accepted only the calling that I like and know. Now, I accept all the callings and learn from uneducated one and create by nothing..
Before she told me, life was about past with nice moments and future with ambitions, now ,for me life is about present with past whispers and future callings..
She told you and taught you as she told me and taught me.. But I just say and with my saying there is some importunity and with your silence there is a sight of gravity..
Sandybelle
Note, friends it was a very hard week with hard exams and explosions everywhere. English supervisor visited our class and I talked to him, the teacher said that I was great and a classmate said that I talked like an American girl, hehehe maybe she meant Angelina.. hehehe
Maf is doing well, I'm fine as well as the family..
She gave me the lyrics and asked me to sing..
She gave me the seeds and asked me to sow and then to reap..
She drew the painting and asked me to sprinkle the colours..
She gave me the candle and asked me to keep it alight..
She opened the book and asked me to read..
She established peace and asked me to live with..
She taught me love and asked me to spread it..
She talked to me about heart and asked me to see by it..
She gave me a hand and asked me to give another..
She shoed me the sea and asked me to navigate..
She pointed to the sky and kept telling me the names of sun, moon, stars and clouds..
She talked to me about people and asked me to consider them my family..
She gave me the plume and asked me to write with..
She asked me to accept any calling I hear..
She opened the window for me and asked me to breathe the fresh air..
Then , she told me the numbers and asked me to count..
Before she let me notice these things, I had thought that everything is normal and it was made to be like that simple how..
Now, I have realized>>
Letters were made to form words by and to let others read then, because every word has power..
Singing makes voice reaches farther from oceans and mountains, because voice has tones and power..
Seeds and new lives are alike, we were sowed and we grow up to give fruits at last, and every tree can be known by its fruit..
Everything has colours, but not every eye can see them, we have to use our eyes to see what can't be seen..
Candles are like hope, we have to keep it alight..
Life is like the book and we have to write words by the chosen plume..
Peace, I feel of its importance now. When the man loses something he/she feels of its importance.. and we have to live in peace with our people, friends and ourselves..
Love is the great source, with love we can forget the sad moments and create for brilliant future..
What is important of what you see is what you see by your heart..
With hands we can touch different things and give others and carry others..
As big as the sea seems we should make our ambitions, and as high as the sky appears we should feel..
Sun, moon and stars are senses sources, and clouds bring rain and with the rain there are treasures, although clouds can hide the sun for a while..
Before she told me, I accepted only the calling that I like and know. Now, I accept all the callings and learn from uneducated one and create by nothing..
Before she told me, life was about past with nice moments and future with ambitions, now ,for me life is about present with past whispers and future callings..
She told you and taught you as she told me and taught me.. But I just say and with my saying there is some importunity and with your silence there is a sight of gravity..
Sandybelle
Note, friends it was a very hard week with hard exams and explosions everywhere. English supervisor visited our class and I talked to him, the teacher said that I was great and a classmate said that I talked like an American girl, hehehe maybe she meant Angelina.. hehehe
Maf is doing well, I'm fine as well as the family..
9 Apr 2008
To be strong
Hello friends,
In my last post I talked about my dear friend Maf and I said
"Maf is a good girl in our class, clever and nice. Although she seems a bit isolated, but when I tried to approach her, I found her very good and gentle person.She has two sisters, and mom who always tries to do her best to protect them. ( just like the one mine and the one yoursJ)Her daddy is missing since 2003. so the three girls have no one to love them really except mammy of theirs, especially these days, when we see every family is busy with the own affairs trying to avoid the sadness and the gloomy times.On Tuesday when I was preparing for French exam, I heard a very very bad news, Maf's mom had died in an explosion had occurred on Monday noon. I was so shocked that I felt of a hand entered my chess and brought out my heart. I didn't know what to do, I remembered her lovely mom when I saw her twice and how beautiful she was when she had depended on me to help her daughter considering me a member of their family." No mom!!!!" I said at the shock time.I kept saying prayers asking God to bless the mom's spirit, and went back to class, I opened my bag for no reason, I was in denial, a friend called Hind( she is another good girl) asked me, ( she seemed that she had noticed my denial) how did I know of the bad news, as well our biology teacher. I answered with no word, I just looked at her and hugged her burst into tears. The other girls didn't know why I had been crying like that way and kept asking me about the matter, I was not able, Hind answered them. The all began to cry and we all wanted to go to her soon to see if she and her sisters all right.We began to curse the terrorists ( they really deserve cursing), the mom had died because an explosion had happened in their neighbors.I don't know what the terrorists gained of that bomb-car , Nothing I know, but they only gave hurt to a family and make little simple girls alone in this world, they made ones become orphans!!!I really hate nobody in my life but the terrorists.I spent the rest of the day crying in a time and trying to hide my tears hard.I came back home, and laid beside the sofa in the kitchen and mom asked my what had been the wrong.I caught her hand and said " Mom!!! She is Maf, she lost her mom!!"Mom kept crying too. Dad and sisters, we didn't have lunch at that day, everyone was sad and gloomy.The next day, there was a preparing of a celebration at school of Mother's Day, Teacher's Day Tree's Day and Prophet's Birthday.When girls began to make read poems about mother, I kept crying saying," Oh!! Maf had no Mammy now!!"All the teachers love Maf, because she is a calm and obedient one.I called Maf an hour ago , she was in bed, she slept of long time crying.I'm going to call her again at 7:00 p.m. "
I then called her,
I: hello, is that maf?
maf: yes dear.
- maf, how are you?
(I know I know, it was a silly question to ask her about her this question But I needed it to go in talking.)
- well, I'm not really ok
- well, I'm so sorry for what happened sweetie, but..
- ok, I just ask you , do you remember her voice and her admiration towards you? ( interrupted me)
I bite my finger, that way I was able to not to cry.
- ok, the only thing that I want to tell you is that your mom was gone as martyr. We all lost dears because of the present situation, many Iraqis suffer and you know. But she is your mom, your mom who loves you and likes you to be strong and free. Maf, your mom was a special woman that she was able to take care of you and your sisters without a daddy, she was like mammy like daddy. This is why you should be proud of your mom and you should be like her, you and your sisters. She is there now, praying for you and watching you, she doesn't like to see her daughters crying, crying was never the reason of happiness or of passing suffer and sad times. Everything happens happens for a reason, and we should learn of the reasons and the happenings. We all realize that the way isn't over, no it is too long, and we have to continue that way together, and we are together, I know dear that losing mom is SO HARD and not anyone can bear it, but I'm talking to you now considering you good and wise girl. Your mom lighted up a candle for you and your sisters and it is your duty to keep the candle lighting. Instead of cursing the darkness we have to light up candles. As well sister, we all will die someday, but this doesn't mean that we should spend our lives waiting for death and without achieving. Now, I just want you to know that your mom wanted you and your sisters to continue and to study, you were absent the days ago, I appreciate that, but I also appreciate that mammy wants you to go to school and share the times with your friends, this is the mom, always in the heart, in the mind and on the faces. Dear, I want you to know that we are all here for you and to take care of you. You are not alone at all, all the girls send you their consolation and best wishes. Don't care about what you missed, just care of the future and of what you are going to do. And as I told you we are here by you. Maf, we miss you in the school and we want you to come back.
- oh, dear, I really can't find the suitable word to thank you, you are great and as wise as I knew you, you are in my heart and you said the words that I wanted someone to say. Ok, my mom loved you, she was always saying that you are a good girl, ok, thank you, thanks to the friends, I know that you are all kind enough to take care of me. I like you all, and I'll think of coming back to school, mom always urged us to study and she said that the only thing that man doesn't lose is the knowledge.
- this is great, I'm glad to hear that. Look at the sky, you will see the stars, they are so high, and they all say that the wonderful mammy hears you and cares about you and your sisters.
- ok sandybelle, I should go, may I ?
-ok dear, good-bye and remember! That I love you..
On Sunday maf came to school, she took my advice, I and the girls handled explaining the missed lectures. And day after day she seems to be better, we made her smile and even laugh. " laugh for life, life will laugh for you".
She did some exams and took high marks, she is strong and smart, I'm so glad for her. Sometimes sad things make man be stronger, I admire her and her ability to overcome the challenges. Good girl maf, May the nice souls be blessed.
********************************
Dears, I just wanted you to know that in spite of what we face everyday , we don't lose hope. There are many Iraqis like maf, and maybe worse in cases, but here we are!
The last five years made us lose a lot, the years before too, but what we should do is to challenge, we are here on the land where writing was firstly made and civilizations were established for the first time too, and we realize the what the ancestor did was great and we are proud of the, but we also have to follow their lead and have to DO.
Anyway, things are not bad. Although I know losing mom is so difficult, and the one can't stop crying, but crying will never bring back the gone ones, but the good deeds and great achievements do, mom is always here, in the heart…
To be strong.. Be strong..
Sandybelle
In my last post I talked about my dear friend Maf and I said
"Maf is a good girl in our class, clever and nice. Although she seems a bit isolated, but when I tried to approach her, I found her very good and gentle person.She has two sisters, and mom who always tries to do her best to protect them. ( just like the one mine and the one yoursJ)Her daddy is missing since 2003. so the three girls have no one to love them really except mammy of theirs, especially these days, when we see every family is busy with the own affairs trying to avoid the sadness and the gloomy times.On Tuesday when I was preparing for French exam, I heard a very very bad news, Maf's mom had died in an explosion had occurred on Monday noon. I was so shocked that I felt of a hand entered my chess and brought out my heart. I didn't know what to do, I remembered her lovely mom when I saw her twice and how beautiful she was when she had depended on me to help her daughter considering me a member of their family." No mom!!!!" I said at the shock time.I kept saying prayers asking God to bless the mom's spirit, and went back to class, I opened my bag for no reason, I was in denial, a friend called Hind( she is another good girl) asked me, ( she seemed that she had noticed my denial) how did I know of the bad news, as well our biology teacher. I answered with no word, I just looked at her and hugged her burst into tears. The other girls didn't know why I had been crying like that way and kept asking me about the matter, I was not able, Hind answered them. The all began to cry and we all wanted to go to her soon to see if she and her sisters all right.We began to curse the terrorists ( they really deserve cursing), the mom had died because an explosion had happened in their neighbors.I don't know what the terrorists gained of that bomb-car , Nothing I know, but they only gave hurt to a family and make little simple girls alone in this world, they made ones become orphans!!!I really hate nobody in my life but the terrorists.I spent the rest of the day crying in a time and trying to hide my tears hard.I came back home, and laid beside the sofa in the kitchen and mom asked my what had been the wrong.I caught her hand and said " Mom!!! She is Maf, she lost her mom!!"Mom kept crying too. Dad and sisters, we didn't have lunch at that day, everyone was sad and gloomy.The next day, there was a preparing of a celebration at school of Mother's Day, Teacher's Day Tree's Day and Prophet's Birthday.When girls began to make read poems about mother, I kept crying saying," Oh!! Maf had no Mammy now!!"All the teachers love Maf, because she is a calm and obedient one.I called Maf an hour ago , she was in bed, she slept of long time crying.I'm going to call her again at 7:00 p.m. "
I then called her,
I: hello, is that maf?
maf: yes dear.
- maf, how are you?
(I know I know, it was a silly question to ask her about her this question But I needed it to go in talking.)
- well, I'm not really ok
- well, I'm so sorry for what happened sweetie, but..
- ok, I just ask you , do you remember her voice and her admiration towards you? ( interrupted me)
I bite my finger, that way I was able to not to cry.
- ok, the only thing that I want to tell you is that your mom was gone as martyr. We all lost dears because of the present situation, many Iraqis suffer and you know. But she is your mom, your mom who loves you and likes you to be strong and free. Maf, your mom was a special woman that she was able to take care of you and your sisters without a daddy, she was like mammy like daddy. This is why you should be proud of your mom and you should be like her, you and your sisters. She is there now, praying for you and watching you, she doesn't like to see her daughters crying, crying was never the reason of happiness or of passing suffer and sad times. Everything happens happens for a reason, and we should learn of the reasons and the happenings. We all realize that the way isn't over, no it is too long, and we have to continue that way together, and we are together, I know dear that losing mom is SO HARD and not anyone can bear it, but I'm talking to you now considering you good and wise girl. Your mom lighted up a candle for you and your sisters and it is your duty to keep the candle lighting. Instead of cursing the darkness we have to light up candles. As well sister, we all will die someday, but this doesn't mean that we should spend our lives waiting for death and without achieving. Now, I just want you to know that your mom wanted you and your sisters to continue and to study, you were absent the days ago, I appreciate that, but I also appreciate that mammy wants you to go to school and share the times with your friends, this is the mom, always in the heart, in the mind and on the faces. Dear, I want you to know that we are all here for you and to take care of you. You are not alone at all, all the girls send you their consolation and best wishes. Don't care about what you missed, just care of the future and of what you are going to do. And as I told you we are here by you. Maf, we miss you in the school and we want you to come back.
- oh, dear, I really can't find the suitable word to thank you, you are great and as wise as I knew you, you are in my heart and you said the words that I wanted someone to say. Ok, my mom loved you, she was always saying that you are a good girl, ok, thank you, thanks to the friends, I know that you are all kind enough to take care of me. I like you all, and I'll think of coming back to school, mom always urged us to study and she said that the only thing that man doesn't lose is the knowledge.
- this is great, I'm glad to hear that. Look at the sky, you will see the stars, they are so high, and they all say that the wonderful mammy hears you and cares about you and your sisters.
- ok sandybelle, I should go, may I ?
-ok dear, good-bye and remember! That I love you..
On Sunday maf came to school, she took my advice, I and the girls handled explaining the missed lectures. And day after day she seems to be better, we made her smile and even laugh. " laugh for life, life will laugh for you".
She did some exams and took high marks, she is strong and smart, I'm so glad for her. Sometimes sad things make man be stronger, I admire her and her ability to overcome the challenges. Good girl maf, May the nice souls be blessed.
********************************
Dears, I just wanted you to know that in spite of what we face everyday , we don't lose hope. There are many Iraqis like maf, and maybe worse in cases, but here we are!
The last five years made us lose a lot, the years before too, but what we should do is to challenge, we are here on the land where writing was firstly made and civilizations were established for the first time too, and we realize the what the ancestor did was great and we are proud of the, but we also have to follow their lead and have to DO.
Anyway, things are not bad. Although I know losing mom is so difficult, and the one can't stop crying, but crying will never bring back the gone ones, but the good deeds and great achievements do, mom is always here, in the heart…
To be strong.. Be strong..
Sandybelle
27 Mar 2008
Candles with pain
There were candles with pain. I don't really know what is the suitable feature of the last days.
In 21st of March of every year all Iraqis from the east, the west, the north and the south celebrate of Spring Feasts, and mom told me that when she had been young girl she was always seeing her mom making a very big silver and fill it with candles, henna, eggs, simple desserts, lettuce and different plants , sesame, mixed nuts ,clecha (an Iraqi famous dessert), coins and so.
Every thing put refers to something. For example, the candles refer to light and hope, henna is the wonderful embellishment of the women at that time, eggs refer to the simple ball that carries a little fetus will come to this life as a new and clear one and the plants refer to the peace and freshness. May all Iraqis' days turn peaceful and happy.
*****************************************
21st of March is Mother's Day and I was so happy to hug my mom.
" Mom, you are my secret angle in this world, you mean a lot for me, you gave me birth after months of suffering, and to be mentioned that daddy told me how much happy you had been of me. I was born little tiny child having no power and do nothing but crying sometimes and keeping silent other times. You made me stand on my feet, made me able to say and do and sing, and now my tongue says words and I sing Life Song for you. I still remember the days when I was sick and no one cared but you and daddy. You put your hand upon my front and say YOU!! PAIN!! GO AWAY BEHIND THE FAR MOUNTAINS AND LET MY LITTLE LOVELY DAUGHTER SPEND HER DAYS HEALTHY AND STRONG!!.
You mom!! Gave me love ,help , support and admiration, and you give me and you will do.
I love you and your words when you say " I was here to love you , to care of you and to help you".
People say that there are angles everywhere, and we don't see them, but the good ones can feel of them. But I say no, there is a great angle and I see her in front of me, standing and leading my way, I saw an angle protect me and defend me, I see an angle support me and love me, see this angle in my heart and between my eyelashes.
I was born and I didn't know the language that people talked in, but you made me able to understand and make me listen to the most beautiful and wonderful words.
Now, I am one can understand and see and hear, in the times when I couldn't, people kept talking about you like that and teaching me your love although I didn't need their teaching, but I asked them that time about your name, they say '' you will call her Mammy".
Oh mom as beautiful, as strong as successful, as good ,as wise, as… you like me to be, I love you.. May God bless you and let you know how much you mean to me.
Mom!! You are my truest friend
My life secrets
My poems words
And songs spirit.
Now, I realize how much birds turn happy
When they sing
They sing for
YOU
************************************
Maf is a good girl in our class, clever and nice. Although she seems a bit isolated, but when I tried to approach her, I found her very good and gentle person.
She has two sisters, and mom who always tries to do her best to protect them. ( just like the one mine and the one yoursJ)
Her daddy is missing since 2003. so the three girls have no one to love them really except mammy of theirs, especially these days, when we see every family is busy with the own affairs trying to avoid the sadness and the gloomy times.
On Tuesday when I was preparing for French exam, I heard a very very bad news, Maf's mom had died in an explosion had occurred on Monday noon. I was so shocked that I felt of a hand entered my chess and brought out my heart. I didn't know what to do, I remembered her lovely mom when I saw her twice and how beautiful she was when she had depended on me to help her daughter considering me a member of their family.
" No mom!!!!" I said at the shock time.
I kept saying prayers asking God to bless the mom's spirit, and went back to class, I opened my bag for no reason, I was in denial, a friend called Hind( she is another good girl) asked me, ( she seemed that she had noticed my denial) how did I know of the bad news, as well our biology teacher. I answered with no word, I just looked at her and hugged her burst into tears. The other girls didn't know why I had been crying like that way and kept asking me about the matter, I was not able, Hind answered them. The all began to cry and we all wanted to go to her soon to see if she and her sisters all right.
We began to curse the terrorists ( they really deserve cursing), the mom had died because an explosion had happened in their neighbors.
I don't know what the terrorists gained of that bomb-car , Nothing I know, but they only gave hurt to a family and make little simple girls alone in this world, they made ones become orphans!!!
I really hate nobody in my life but the terrorists.
I spent the rest of the day crying in a time and trying to hide my tears hard.
I came back home, and laid beside the sofa in the kitchen and mom asked my what had been the wrong.
I caught her hand and said " Mom!!! She is Maf, she lost her mom!!"
Mom kept crying too. Dad and sisters, we didn't have lunch at that day, everyone was sad and gloomy.
The next day, there was a preparing of a celebration at school of Mother's Day, Teacher's Day Tree's Day and Prophet's Birthday.
When girls began to make read poems about mother, I kept crying saying,
" Oh!! Maf had no Mammy now!!"
All the teachers love Maf, because she is a calm and obedient one.
I called Maf an hour ago , she was in bed, she slept of long time crying.I'm going to call her again at 7:00 p.m.
Maf is a good girl in our class, clever and nice. Although she seems a bit isolated, but when I tried to approach her, I found her very good and gentle person.
She has two sisters, and mom who always tries to do her best to protect them. ( just like the one mine and the one yoursJ)
Her daddy is missing since 2003. so the three girls have no one to love them really except mammy of theirs, especially these days, when we see every family is busy with the own affairs trying to avoid the sadness and the gloomy times.
On Tuesday when I was preparing for French exam, I heard a very very bad news, Maf's mom had died in an explosion had occurred on Monday noon. I was so shocked that I felt of a hand entered my chess and brought out my heart. I didn't know what to do, I remembered her lovely mom when I saw her twice and how beautiful she was when she had depended on me to help her daughter considering me a member of their family.
" No mom!!!!" I said at the shock time.
I kept saying prayers asking God to bless the mom's spirit, and went back to class, I opened my bag for no reason, I was in denial, a friend called Hind( she is another good girl) asked me, ( she seemed that she had noticed my denial) how did I know of the bad news, as well our biology teacher. I answered with no word, I just looked at her and hugged her burst into tears. The other girls didn't know why I had been crying like that way and kept asking me about the matter, I was not able, Hind answered them. The all began to cry and we all wanted to go to her soon to see if she and her sisters all right.
We began to curse the terrorists ( they really deserve cursing), the mom had died because an explosion had happened in their neighbors.
I don't know what the terrorists gained of that bomb-car , Nothing I know, but they only gave hurt to a family and make little simple girls alone in this world, they made ones become orphans!!!
I really hate nobody in my life but the terrorists.
I spent the rest of the day crying in a time and trying to hide my tears hard.
I came back home, and laid beside the sofa in the kitchen and mom asked my what had been the wrong.
I caught her hand and said " Mom!!! She is Maf, she lost her mom!!"
Mom kept crying too. Dad and sisters, we didn't have lunch at that day, everyone was sad and gloomy.
The next day, there was a preparing of a celebration at school of Mother's Day, Teacher's Day Tree's Day and Prophet's Birthday.
When girls began to make read poems about mother, I kept crying saying,
" Oh!! Maf had no Mammy now!!"
All the teachers love Maf, because she is a calm and obedient one.
I called Maf an hour ago , she was in bed, she slept of long time crying.I'm going to call her again at 7:00 p.m.
*****************************
On Wednesday, I was forced to say goodbye to my friends who are in the sixth grade.
They are going to graduate from high school and go to college, they made this party to say goodbye to each other and others.
We exchanged wishes of luck and happy next.
I said Good bye to Zuzu and many other friends, and although they are older than me, but they really love me and I found this out only on Wednesday!!
The all hugged me and kept shedding tears wishing me to achieve all my dreams.
They are going to graduate from high school and go to college, they made this party to say goodbye to each other and others.
We exchanged wishes of luck and happy next.
I said Good bye to Zuzu and many other friends, and although they are older than me, but they really love me and I found this out only on Wednesday!!
The all hugged me and kept shedding tears wishing me to achieve all my dreams.
*****************************
Today, I said a poem about teachers in the celebration, and I was honored to receive a gift because I was the first winner and my marks are the highest among the girls.
Today, I said a poem about teachers in the celebration, and I was honored to receive a gift because I was the first winner and my marks are the highest among the girls.
there were musicians to play on the piano for the songs, they said that I own a beautiful voice.
I don't know how days pass.
I like the candles but I don't like the pain..
I don't know how days pass.
I like the candles but I don't like the pain..
Sandybelle to be Soleil
Note, my mom insisted on going to Maf's house, I refused that at first, because Maf will see me with my mom and she may remember her mom and will bring back her sadness. But mom said that we are all here to love Maf and the ones like her, and we all were here to help, do, say and pray. I agree.
explosions are so heavy, and one ocuured of sunday in our neighbors, but there were no many damages and thank God.
19 Mar 2008
What is written in the stars can't be changed nor altered
I was sitting in my room staring at the street through my window. A few American tanks passed by and I felt of their speed and I felt very afraid, they seemed very angry especially when I heard that some mine was exploded on the way of some other tank( a friend of theirs) . They say that these are ''The last days" and for that we have to capture hope. Anyway I don't care whether these are the last or not, I just pray for our safety and safety of all the innocent people in this big world. On my way to school, I always see many people, guards, policemen, students ,pupils, teachers, workers, shoppers and bakers and many others. In their eyes I notice the freedom and willpower to continue, no matter what happens. I just love the end to be by our side and like it to be happy.
The past days were full of explosions and chases. Our class faces the main street in the quarter where my school situated, so any tank passes by, we notice it. There are many everyday. On Sunday there were many ones, American ones and national others. many explosions happened and ambulances were many too. Police cars crazily kept making noise and horrible calling " Waaa Wee, Waa Wee" to make other cars notice and clear the way. Every morning carries new news of different victims and the stories are different too. But thinking of these days can be the last ones make me feel high and able to forget the sadness. But I just wonder whether it was written in the stars the we would face such bad days. Ok, ok it is ok that we are cooperative and with our strength together can destroy the strong fence that hinder our distance.
This week I received some marks and they were really good. Full marks in English , French, physics. And I got 98% in biology, I loved to get 100%. Mom says that it is Ok because I just studied 7 pages of more than 14, I depended on my memory, I was very sick and my fever was very high and so I couldn't study well at all but I didn't like to postpone doing it. Also there was a celebration here " My sister's seventh birthday" and there was so much of noise, singing and playing, I wanted to ask them to stop celebrating, but NO, it is birthday and it isn't their fault that I'm sick.I hept kidding my sweetie sister and she filled my cheeks with many kisses.
Thank You Sweetie Sister!!
img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5179450003398090754" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7VNHoMMh5UA06oQvflqTHN2a1A8o1pTkJSJd0HgUo-qpDdrxafjQliJ8v2Uu58zQfIq97iJdroicp7DTPQrLR19E3BlEbCqYym68a5CuD3tJi7tNQGxo4ZJ-KESsmXJrUgQES5BOgaCI/s400/1008-011-72-1069.gif" border="0" />
*********************************
Anyway, it was horrible week, but it is gone now, and I'm back to my nature.
My friend Es will travel to Baghdad on Sunday and she invited me to go with her, I refused her offer kindly because she will stay for a week and this isn't enough if someone wants to go to Baghdad and enjoy the fun and the pleasure there.
Our school board decided to create a magazine especially to dictate the student's efforts and activity and the school's news. I'll prepare a subject in biology, chemistry and Arabic. Arabic teacher loves me too ( every teacher loves me and here is the great pointJ and asked me to prepare and essay. I like to make and essay of English too but the problem is of electricity and time, I don't really have enough spare time, especially these days, teacher gives us much homework saying that these are the last days of the academic year and we have to finish our work soon.
Next week, there will be many exams and I have to be ready to get good marks.
************************************
Everyday new writings are written in the stars and what is written can't be changed not altered. Many wonderful things are and were written. Also there were bad things, but the bad ones were found to have a look upon our patience and hope.
Yesterday I dreamed of Angelina, I was sorry to wake.. Mom says that it was only a dream and I don't have to be sorry..
I don't know whether it'll be written that I will meet Angelina.
I'm so zealous to know what will be written.
Let it be written and let it be..
Soleil
The past days were full of explosions and chases. Our class faces the main street in the quarter where my school situated, so any tank passes by, we notice it. There are many everyday. On Sunday there were many ones, American ones and national others. many explosions happened and ambulances were many too. Police cars crazily kept making noise and horrible calling " Waaa Wee, Waa Wee" to make other cars notice and clear the way. Every morning carries new news of different victims and the stories are different too. But thinking of these days can be the last ones make me feel high and able to forget the sadness. But I just wonder whether it was written in the stars the we would face such bad days. Ok, ok it is ok that we are cooperative and with our strength together can destroy the strong fence that hinder our distance.
This week I received some marks and they were really good. Full marks in English , French, physics. And I got 98% in biology, I loved to get 100%. Mom says that it is Ok because I just studied 7 pages of more than 14, I depended on my memory, I was very sick and my fever was very high and so I couldn't study well at all but I didn't like to postpone doing it. Also there was a celebration here " My sister's seventh birthday" and there was so much of noise, singing and playing, I wanted to ask them to stop celebrating, but NO, it is birthday and it isn't their fault that I'm sick.I hept kidding my sweetie sister and she filled my cheeks with many kisses.
Thank You Sweetie Sister!!
img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5179450003398090754" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7VNHoMMh5UA06oQvflqTHN2a1A8o1pTkJSJd0HgUo-qpDdrxafjQliJ8v2Uu58zQfIq97iJdroicp7DTPQrLR19E3BlEbCqYym68a5CuD3tJi7tNQGxo4ZJ-KESsmXJrUgQES5BOgaCI/s400/1008-011-72-1069.gif" border="0" />
*********************************
Anyway, it was horrible week, but it is gone now, and I'm back to my nature.
My friend Es will travel to Baghdad on Sunday and she invited me to go with her, I refused her offer kindly because she will stay for a week and this isn't enough if someone wants to go to Baghdad and enjoy the fun and the pleasure there.
Our school board decided to create a magazine especially to dictate the student's efforts and activity and the school's news. I'll prepare a subject in biology, chemistry and Arabic. Arabic teacher loves me too ( every teacher loves me and here is the great pointJ and asked me to prepare and essay. I like to make and essay of English too but the problem is of electricity and time, I don't really have enough spare time, especially these days, teacher gives us much homework saying that these are the last days of the academic year and we have to finish our work soon.
Next week, there will be many exams and I have to be ready to get good marks.
************************************
Everyday new writings are written in the stars and what is written can't be changed not altered. Many wonderful things are and were written. Also there were bad things, but the bad ones were found to have a look upon our patience and hope.
Yesterday I dreamed of Angelina, I was sorry to wake.. Mom says that it was only a dream and I don't have to be sorry..
I don't know whether it'll be written that I will meet Angelina.
I'm so zealous to know what will be written.
Let it be written and let it be..
Soleil
6 Mar 2008
In truth, beauty seeks goodness.. What is beautiful is good and what is good is beautiful
There was a pause when I stopped suddenly and kept thinking of God.
In religion lesson I asked the teacher about Being of God. Girls and teacher considered my thoughts as ways to atheism. But no, this is impossible. It is impossible that my thoughts lead me to be an atheist. I just adore God and love to think deeply and greatly of him. My thoughts lead me to love him more and more.
Teacher and girls said that we only believe in God and know that he makes everything, and we do never have to think of being of God.
I believe in that saying when somebody asked other " Can this hole have the capacity of that river?" .
" No" the second answered.
" So, How can your little mind have the capacity for thinking of God and his being?!!". the first replied.
Yes, God is something Great. The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful and The Greatest.
I don't only believe that God makes things and we have to believe in him, but also I believe that God causes the reasons of our happiness and great moments, the one who gives us the power to overcome the ordeals that we face in our lives, the one who gives us the strength to achieve our ambitions and dreams. God always sends angels to protect us wherever we go. God was there in the school, there in that spot where a great explosion happened and where I stood terrified and confused having no idea about what I can do in moments of suffer and despair. God is the one who made that great thing which fill our days with kind rays that lead us to reach what we like to reach, he made our beautiful Sun.
I think God hides something beyond the Sun, and I have to continue my way to reach beyond the sun.
Many feel afriad that they might see Sandybelle in the TV talking about God atheistly, I think that they feel afraid of thinking because their faith isn't like mine. My faith leads me to think and then to find. And when I thought for another while I " I can see God in my heart, in the mirror, in the river, in the sky, in my shadow, in the sun, in my mom's eyes, among my great memories, among my words and … and then I see him looking upon me with pity".
I realize how much God is great especially when I feel gloomy and when I shelter in prayers and how much comfortable and free after that.
God gives us the ability to learn the right form the wrong and to be forgiving with others. God taught us the right ways that lead us to live in our lives happily and with peace and love.
This is God for me. And I can't spend any day without thinking of him. And my faithful gives me the power to love, help, listen, read,.. and to do all things I love to do and all things I believe in.
**************************************
Many girls ask me about my main ambitions in the life, what I love to be and how I love to be. Someone says" You are a bit obscure Sandybelle ,and I really love to ask you about you".
I smiled when she asked. I just told her:
" first of all, let me tell you that I believe in everything helps me to reach beyond the sun. In my life there is a great sight of hope as you see and know, also ambition.
My dreams are my life, because the life was past caused reasons for present and presents causes reasons for future, and every moment I spend waiting for future gives me the power and the confidence that there is nothing impossible.
For me the doctor is like an angel, especially when I look at him/her and how emotional he/she seems. When he/she treats the patient kindly and beautifully. Also diseases are the main reasons of many ones' problems and misery. This is why I love to be a doctor.
The poverty is another misery for the poor ones, poverty leads many people to think of stealing and killing to get money, and then this leads to find catastrophes in society. And this is why I love to do my best for paupers to lessen the criminals and to create the smile on faces lost it for a long time. I think the great crown of this dream is Noble Prize. And don't you forget that Being poor isn't a shame, but the shame is when you think that poverty is shame.
Singing and acting are nice ways to get money to give to paupers. I know that many artists make concerts and create movies to give the returns to the paupers in their country or any other place in the world. As well as I love acting and singing. I always in times of happiness at home I sing for the family with my sisters and everyone listens attentively.
Being an author is another dream, because I realize that words have power and power can make changes in the world towards the right direction.
….. in fact, I love every work leads to find happiness for the one his/her self or for others. But I believe that good ones in the world see that their benefit is hidden in work brings benefit for others. "
She said" But maybe you will not be able to achieve all of them!!"
" So What?!! I just realize that God helps ones who helps themselves and my ambitions color my life to continue the way. And gives me the ability to carry my message, and to do my best to achieve them. Hope, peace, love and spirit are in my heart and in your heart and the others' hearts and this is why we can stay alive" I answered.
" you are great, I hope I'll be like you, you are in my mind and my love increases especially when I remember that day when I was very sad and was ready to leave the life and then you came as a great care in moments of illness . your words helped me to re-arrange my sheets and stand again. I love to have a younger sister and friend like you" She said.
I just smiled and kissed her. Hehehehe many people wonder about my personality and ones try to discover me themselves and others ask me and others favor to make it as secret.
I have only Secret, secret that I learn from everything I face in my life..
Keep your secrets in your hearts,
And don't you forget that beyond the sun there is something needs to be found and this is why we do our best to find it..Free like the plume and clear like the sky,
Sandybelle
P.S. This week was normal with the exception of the explosions that happened, you know explosions are normal, so much homework and many quizzes.Zuzu is doing well in her exams and study. I'm happy for her.
In religion lesson I asked the teacher about Being of God. Girls and teacher considered my thoughts as ways to atheism. But no, this is impossible. It is impossible that my thoughts lead me to be an atheist. I just adore God and love to think deeply and greatly of him. My thoughts lead me to love him more and more.
Teacher and girls said that we only believe in God and know that he makes everything, and we do never have to think of being of God.
I believe in that saying when somebody asked other " Can this hole have the capacity of that river?" .
" No" the second answered.
" So, How can your little mind have the capacity for thinking of God and his being?!!". the first replied.
Yes, God is something Great. The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful and The Greatest.
I don't only believe that God makes things and we have to believe in him, but also I believe that God causes the reasons of our happiness and great moments, the one who gives us the power to overcome the ordeals that we face in our lives, the one who gives us the strength to achieve our ambitions and dreams. God always sends angels to protect us wherever we go. God was there in the school, there in that spot where a great explosion happened and where I stood terrified and confused having no idea about what I can do in moments of suffer and despair. God is the one who made that great thing which fill our days with kind rays that lead us to reach what we like to reach, he made our beautiful Sun.
I think God hides something beyond the Sun, and I have to continue my way to reach beyond the sun.
Many feel afriad that they might see Sandybelle in the TV talking about God atheistly, I think that they feel afraid of thinking because their faith isn't like mine. My faith leads me to think and then to find. And when I thought for another while I " I can see God in my heart, in the mirror, in the river, in the sky, in my shadow, in the sun, in my mom's eyes, among my great memories, among my words and … and then I see him looking upon me with pity".
I realize how much God is great especially when I feel gloomy and when I shelter in prayers and how much comfortable and free after that.
God gives us the ability to learn the right form the wrong and to be forgiving with others. God taught us the right ways that lead us to live in our lives happily and with peace and love.
This is God for me. And I can't spend any day without thinking of him. And my faithful gives me the power to love, help, listen, read,.. and to do all things I love to do and all things I believe in.
**************************************
Many girls ask me about my main ambitions in the life, what I love to be and how I love to be. Someone says" You are a bit obscure Sandybelle ,and I really love to ask you about you".
I smiled when she asked. I just told her:
" first of all, let me tell you that I believe in everything helps me to reach beyond the sun. In my life there is a great sight of hope as you see and know, also ambition.
My dreams are my life, because the life was past caused reasons for present and presents causes reasons for future, and every moment I spend waiting for future gives me the power and the confidence that there is nothing impossible.
For me the doctor is like an angel, especially when I look at him/her and how emotional he/she seems. When he/she treats the patient kindly and beautifully. Also diseases are the main reasons of many ones' problems and misery. This is why I love to be a doctor.
The poverty is another misery for the poor ones, poverty leads many people to think of stealing and killing to get money, and then this leads to find catastrophes in society. And this is why I love to do my best for paupers to lessen the criminals and to create the smile on faces lost it for a long time. I think the great crown of this dream is Noble Prize. And don't you forget that Being poor isn't a shame, but the shame is when you think that poverty is shame.
Singing and acting are nice ways to get money to give to paupers. I know that many artists make concerts and create movies to give the returns to the paupers in their country or any other place in the world. As well as I love acting and singing. I always in times of happiness at home I sing for the family with my sisters and everyone listens attentively.
Being an author is another dream, because I realize that words have power and power can make changes in the world towards the right direction.
….. in fact, I love every work leads to find happiness for the one his/her self or for others. But I believe that good ones in the world see that their benefit is hidden in work brings benefit for others. "
She said" But maybe you will not be able to achieve all of them!!"
" So What?!! I just realize that God helps ones who helps themselves and my ambitions color my life to continue the way. And gives me the ability to carry my message, and to do my best to achieve them. Hope, peace, love and spirit are in my heart and in your heart and the others' hearts and this is why we can stay alive" I answered.
" you are great, I hope I'll be like you, you are in my mind and my love increases especially when I remember that day when I was very sad and was ready to leave the life and then you came as a great care in moments of illness . your words helped me to re-arrange my sheets and stand again. I love to have a younger sister and friend like you" She said.
I just smiled and kissed her. Hehehehe many people wonder about my personality and ones try to discover me themselves and others ask me and others favor to make it as secret.
I have only Secret, secret that I learn from everything I face in my life..
Keep your secrets in your hearts,
And don't you forget that beyond the sun there is something needs to be found and this is why we do our best to find it..Free like the plume and clear like the sky,
Sandybelle
P.S. This week was normal with the exception of the explosions that happened, you know explosions are normal, so much homework and many quizzes.Zuzu is doing well in her exams and study. I'm happy for her.
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