24 Apr 2008


Hello friends,
My dear friend anand asked me about my nick name, Sandybelle.
Sandybelle is a novel by Gez Lafisher, and the novel talks about a young girl who lost her father when she was a baby in some drowning and her mom was missed so. This baby was saved by two men, they were dear friends. One of them was called Christie and the other Lonwood, Mr. Chrisitie took Sandybelle as a daughter and she grew up between his hands, he gave her the kindness and warmness that made her be good girl ( so good girl) , lovely, smart and cute. She lived in Scotland and everyone there loved her for her great manners. There were some guys feeling jealous of her, but she returned that with nice help and cooperation. She later met Mark ( her flowers garden prince) whose family was very rich, and they both shared help and support.
Katy is another girl feels jealous of her and always tries to make her fall in troubles, but who cares?!! Sandybelle remains the lovely girl.
The story contains many events, Mark left Scotland to unknown place and worked too hard to accomplish his dream of being a famous artist, Sandybelle with her great heart and mind and with hard wok could achieve her dream of being a journalist in London after leaving Scotland because Mr. Christie had died and told her about her whole story and so asked her to go to London to work and live at Mr. Lonwood.s house there.
At the end of the story , she could meet her mom and how great meeting it was!! And she could meet Mark too, and I think the both got married later.
And I really can find many of her features in my personality, her talking and thoughts. I admire her insistence to live freely and give a lot.
Through Sandybelle's I could learn that there are rules to live happily,
" never hate, don't worry, live simple, give a lot, expect a little, always smile and have good true friends".
and as well I could find Iraqi Plume as a simple way to remind me always of comfort and freedom and purity. As well with the plume the bird can fly so high, until the sky.
And Soleil is my favorite word in French and this is why I chose it as the French nick name, and as you know, I'm so affected of the sun and its rays.
This is my strategy and this is me.

My dear friend and atsuma sent me these links,
Thank you so much dear friend :)
I actually don't know what can I call the last days, there were random feelings.
Regards school,
I am satisfied by my grades and I could get higher than 90% in every subject and so I'm free of the final exams, the smart students here can be free of the final exams.
Today , we watched a movie at school " Merchant of Venice" and I felt I was in movie, and days ago we watched the movie of Oliver Twist.
My friends are alright, as well as the teachers.
My religion teacher got engaged to a good man, when she came to our class, we made the Halhula ( it is an Iraqi sounds women make in celebrations and happy moments). Although my religion teacher is a bit sectarian but she is rather good. I wish her all the happiness as well as the others.
This is the end of this academic year, it was such a hard year, different things could happen, sad and happy moments.
Many days I was forced to study at lantern light because we didn't have electricity, and, many days we saw American and Iraqi military tanks through the window ( which face the main street) chasing the terrorists, many days we got shocks by sudden explosions and bad news of murdering some dears and so.
Hope was in our hands or we couldn't stay alive. We are still hopeful and we will stay like that forever.
Regards family,
Dad is abroad and my little sisters was sick and thank God she is feeling better now.

In General,
I heard bad news. My primary school headmistress had died day ago ,and I was horribly shocked, she was not my headmistress, but also a friend, a grandma and so wonderful teacher. I feel so sorry for that.
And Arsham is very famous chemistry teacher in my city and he also had died yesterday, he was my brothers' teacher, I don't know him, but they talked to me about him for a long time, and when I told them, they felt so sad, and kept asking God to give his soul mercy. they were so sorry and hard could hide their tears.

This is all up to the minute, and my only wish is to lived happily for the next..
Stay safe,

20 Apr 2008

I learn....

She taught me the letters and asked me to form the words..
She gave me the lyrics and asked me to sing..
She gave me the seeds and asked me to sow and then to reap..
She drew the painting and asked me to sprinkle the colours..
She gave me the candle and asked me to keep it alight..
She opened the book and asked me to read..
She established peace and asked me to live with..
She taught me love and asked me to spread it..
She talked to me about heart and asked me to see by it..
She gave me a hand and asked me to give another..
She shoed me the sea and asked me to navigate..
She pointed to the sky and kept telling me the names of sun, moon, stars and clouds..
She talked to me about people and asked me to consider them my family..
She gave me the plume and asked me to write with..
She asked me to accept any calling I hear..
She opened the window for me and asked me to breathe the fresh air..
Then , she told me the numbers and asked me to count..

Before she let me notice these things, I had thought that everything is normal and it was made to be like that simple how..
Now, I have realized>>
Letters were made to form words by and to let others read then, because every word has power..
Singing makes voice reaches farther from oceans and mountains, because voice has tones and power..
Seeds and new lives are alike, we were sowed and we grow up to give fruits at last, and every tree can be known by its fruit..
Everything has colours, but not every eye can see them, we have to use our eyes to see what can't be seen..
Candles are like hope, we have to keep it alight..
Life is like the book and we have to write words by the chosen plume..
Peace, I feel of its importance now. When the man loses something he/she feels of its importance.. and we have to live in peace with our people, friends and ourselves..
Love is the great source, with love we can forget the sad moments and create for brilliant future..
What is important of what you see is what you see by your heart..
With hands we can touch different things and give others and carry others..
As big as the sea seems we should make our ambitions, and as high as the sky appears we should feel..
Sun, moon and stars are senses sources, and clouds bring rain and with the rain there are treasures, although clouds can hide the sun for a while..
Before she told me, I accepted only the calling that I like and know. Now, I accept all the callings and learn from uneducated one and create by nothing..
Before she told me, life was about past with nice moments and future with ambitions, now ,for me life is about present with past whispers and future callings..

She told you and taught you as she told me and taught me.. But I just say and with my saying there is some importunity and with your silence there is a sight of gravity..

Note, friends it was a very hard week with hard exams and explosions everywhere. English supervisor visited our class and I talked to him, the teacher said that I was great and a classmate said that I talked like an American girl, hehehe maybe she meant Angelina.. hehehe
Maf is doing well, I'm fine as well as the family..

9 Apr 2008

To be strong

Hello friends,
In my last post I talked about my dear friend Maf and I said

"Maf is a good girl in our class, clever and nice. Although she seems a bit isolated, but when I tried to approach her, I found her very good and gentle person.She has two sisters, and mom who always tries to do her best to protect them. ( just like the one mine and the one yoursJ)Her daddy is missing since 2003. so the three girls have no one to love them really except mammy of theirs, especially these days, when we see every family is busy with the own affairs trying to avoid the sadness and the gloomy times.On Tuesday when I was preparing for French exam, I heard a very very bad news, Maf's mom had died in an explosion had occurred on Monday noon. I was so shocked that I felt of a hand entered my chess and brought out my heart. I didn't know what to do, I remembered her lovely mom when I saw her twice and how beautiful she was when she had depended on me to help her daughter considering me a member of their family." No mom!!!!" I said at the shock time.I kept saying prayers asking God to bless the mom's spirit, and went back to class, I opened my bag for no reason, I was in denial, a friend called Hind( she is another good girl) asked me, ( she seemed that she had noticed my denial) how did I know of the bad news, as well our biology teacher. I answered with no word, I just looked at her and hugged her burst into tears. The other girls didn't know why I had been crying like that way and kept asking me about the matter, I was not able, Hind answered them. The all began to cry and we all wanted to go to her soon to see if she and her sisters all right.We began to curse the terrorists ( they really deserve cursing), the mom had died because an explosion had happened in their neighbors.I don't know what the terrorists gained of that bomb-car , Nothing I know, but they only gave hurt to a family and make little simple girls alone in this world, they made ones become orphans!!!I really hate nobody in my life but the terrorists.I spent the rest of the day crying in a time and trying to hide my tears hard.I came back home, and laid beside the sofa in the kitchen and mom asked my what had been the wrong.I caught her hand and said " Mom!!! She is Maf, she lost her mom!!"Mom kept crying too. Dad and sisters, we didn't have lunch at that day, everyone was sad and gloomy.The next day, there was a preparing of a celebration at school of Mother's Day, Teacher's Day Tree's Day and Prophet's Birthday.When girls began to make read poems about mother, I kept crying saying," Oh!! Maf had no Mammy now!!"All the teachers love Maf, because she is a calm and obedient one.I called Maf an hour ago , she was in bed, she slept of long time crying.I'm going to call her again at 7:00 p.m. "

I then called her,
I: hello, is that maf?
maf: yes dear.
- maf, how are you?
(I know I know, it was a silly question to ask her about her this question But I needed it to go in talking.)
- well, I'm not really ok
- well, I'm so sorry for what happened sweetie, but..
- ok, I just ask you , do you remember her voice and her admiration towards you? ( interrupted me)
I bite my finger, that way I was able to not to cry.
- ok, the only thing that I want to tell you is that your mom was gone as martyr. We all lost dears because of the present situation, many Iraqis suffer and you know. But she is your mom, your mom who loves you and likes you to be strong and free. Maf, your mom was a special woman that she was able to take care of you and your sisters without a daddy, she was like mammy like daddy. This is why you should be proud of your mom and you should be like her, you and your sisters. She is there now, praying for you and watching you, she doesn't like to see her daughters crying, crying was never the reason of happiness or of passing suffer and sad times. Everything happens happens for a reason, and we should learn of the reasons and the happenings. We all realize that the way isn't over, no it is too long, and we have to continue that way together, and we are together, I know dear that losing mom is SO HARD and not anyone can bear it, but I'm talking to you now considering you good and wise girl. Your mom lighted up a candle for you and your sisters and it is your duty to keep the candle lighting. Instead of cursing the darkness we have to light up candles. As well sister, we all will die someday, but this doesn't mean that we should spend our lives waiting for death and without achieving. Now, I just want you to know that your mom wanted you and your sisters to continue and to study, you were absent the days ago, I appreciate that, but I also appreciate that mammy wants you to go to school and share the times with your friends, this is the mom, always in the heart, in the mind and on the faces. Dear, I want you to know that we are all here for you and to take care of you. You are not alone at all, all the girls send you their consolation and best wishes. Don't care about what you missed, just care of the future and of what you are going to do. And as I told you we are here by you. Maf, we miss you in the school and we want you to come back.
- oh, dear, I really can't find the suitable word to thank you, you are great and as wise as I knew you, you are in my heart and you said the words that I wanted someone to say. Ok, my mom loved you, she was always saying that you are a good girl, ok, thank you, thanks to the friends, I know that you are all kind enough to take care of me. I like you all, and I'll think of coming back to school, mom always urged us to study and she said that the only thing that man doesn't lose is the knowledge.
- this is great, I'm glad to hear that. Look at the sky, you will see the stars, they are so high, and they all say that the wonderful mammy hears you and cares about you and your sisters.
- ok sandybelle, I should go, may I ?
-ok dear, good-bye and remember! That I love you..

On Sunday maf came to school, she took my advice, I and the girls handled explaining the missed lectures. And day after day she seems to be better, we made her smile and even laugh. " laugh for life, life will laugh for you".
She did some exams and took high marks, she is strong and smart, I'm so glad for her. Sometimes sad things make man be stronger, I admire her and her ability to overcome the challenges. Good girl maf, May the nice souls be blessed.
Dears, I just wanted you to know that in spite of what we face everyday , we don't lose hope. There are many Iraqis like maf, and maybe worse in cases, but here we are!
The last five years made us lose a lot, the years before too, but what we should do is to challenge, we are here on the land where writing was firstly made and civilizations were established for the first time too, and we realize the what the ancestor did was great and we are proud of the, but we also have to follow their lead and have to DO.
Anyway, things are not bad. Although I know losing mom is so difficult, and the one can't stop crying, but crying will never bring back the gone ones, but the good deeds and great achievements do, mom is always here, in the heart…
To be strong.. Be strong..